Sexual development and identification in preschool age. Gender Identification Disorders in Children Gender identification in a child occurs

Formation gender identity Human being is one of the directions of human socialization. The process of such socialization lies in the fact that many of the basic differences between men and women are laid down in the family and children learn about them from many sources.

Socialization is carried out both consciously and unconsciously, and in the process of active interaction with the individual. Personality does not develop as a result of the conscious or deliberate efforts of parents or other adults, but is formed through the very first social relationships that children enter into. Their nature and peculiarity is perceived, assimilated and organized by the child in such a way that it leaves a decisive imprint on individuality.

This process most decisively relates to and influences subsequent behavior, whether it be the normal, expected by society, or the unique behavior of that individual. The idea of ​​people about themselves, the nature and degree of their masculinity and femininity depend on the stability and state of the subconscious organization of a person.

This fully applies to sexual differentiation. The process of gender identity is also defined and directed through social and cultural means. To do this, in every society there are certain gender roles.

The concept of a role denotes a way of people's behavior in the system of interpersonal relations, depending on their position in society and corresponding to the set of norms, prescriptions and expectations accepted in this society. Under gender role understand the system of social standards, prescriptions, stereotypes that a person must comply with in order to be recognized as a boy (man) or girl (woman).

The simplest model of gender roles, as well as differences, is built on the alternative "either-or" principle. In it, the male role, for example, is associated with strength, vigor, rudeness, aggressiveness, and rationality.

The formation of an individual's gender identity is not directly and directly due to the presence of social stereotypes, ideas, and expectations. They should become means of awareness of one's own gender. This direction of the socialization process and its result - gender identity - require the development of sex roles and training in gender-role behavior.

There are several stages in the formation of a child's gender identity.

First stage- by the age of 1.5, in the course of communication with adults, knowledge of the primary gender identity is formed. Already by this time, children can know about their gender.

Usually in the first years of life, children are very attached to their mother. At this time, they face the problems of separation and individualization. This implies a weakening of the original identification with the mother, a decrease in oral dependence on her. Boys and girls experience this process differently.

Girls' early impressions include "double" identification: not only do they identify with their mother (as do boys of the same age), but mothers themselves, like big daughters, identify very strongly with their daughters. This identification implies a sense of empathy for the daughter's present and future, and the physical and emotional difficulties she faces. This feeling of special affection makes the subsequent separation of mothers and daughters more difficult. At the same time, in relationships with boys, mothers tend to encourage their opposition to themselves and, in general, everything that enhances their male self-awareness.

In addition, the toys that are offered to the child, games and entertainment, the tastes that they try to instill in him, the requirements that are made of him - everything is passed through the prism of his gender: “You should not cry, because you are not a girl”; "Why are you fighting, are you a boy?"

Second phase- 34 years. After the child reaches this age, the different development of boys and girls is generally recognized. During this period, a more specific masculine identification should replace the boy's early identification with his mother, and this coincides with a time when the father becomes increasingly present in his children's world. However, in modern society, this is not so easy to implement, and therefore male identification is reinforced more by stereotypical ideas about the role of a man in society than by real relationships between adults of the same sex.

Subsequently, boys may reorient themselves to a negative way of expressing masculinity, identifying themselves in everything that is not feminine. This means the suppression in oneself of all qualities that are considered feminine, and also implies a low appreciation of what the boy seems to be "feminine" in the world around him.

For girls, the development of female gender identity is more consistent. They do not have to overcome their early self and attachment to their mother, since their final definition as a woman coincides with the central figure on which their childhood feelings of dependence were concentrated. Therefore, the identification of a girl with her mother is different from the distant position that a boy takes, trying to get comfortable with the male role and the corresponding behavior that he is forced to demonstrate.

Thus, the perception by boys and girls of their inner world gives rise to a different development of “masculinity” and “femininity”. Moreover, the specific features of the social structure, supported by cultural ideas, values ​​and perceptions, are interpreted through the family as a result of early relationships with social objects.

The basis of gender differences in ways of thinking and solving problems is also beginning to be laid in relation to children through the behavior of parents.

From an early age, children learn what clothes suit them according to gender, what behavior is “gender appropriate”. Girls learn to copy the world of their mothers, boys learn to copy their fathers. So, the world of girls is limited to a small group of friends, more often a couple; it is private, not competitive, based not on power within the group, but, on the contrary, on mutual equality and respect for each other. The world of boys is more hierarchical, characterized by constant competition for status, filled with posing to assert dominance, attract an audience, assert oneself when the other is defeated.

By the age of 3-4, the child develops the ability to distinguish people by gender, develops a clear awareness of their gender, although any superficial and random properties (for example, clothing) can serve as subjective criteria for this difference. The child admits the possibility of their change in another, but not in himself. Any change in appearance is perceived as a change in the "image of oneself", including one's gender. What symbolizes gender must be impeccable, leaving no room for ambiguity! Even very young children reject what in their system of ideas is contrary to the norms of their gender: inappropriate clothes, activities, manners. This testifies to the colossal inner work associated with the formation of self-consciousness.

Third stage - 6-7 years old. At this stage, there is an almost complete differentiation of gender roles, certain forms of games and companies are selected. Children form ideas about how their individual qualities and social behavior correspond to the standards and expectations of a certain gender role. These manifestations of gender differences are then reinforced as a result of teacher attitudes and school upbringing. The education system is becoming the most powerful means by which society reproduces gender and social relations.

Fourth stage(decisive in the formation of sexual identity) - the period of puberty, or puberty.

The formation of not only gender identity, but also a sexual role is a problem that arises before a person and is resolved by him during the puberty period. Puberty, according to I. S. Kona,- this is the core around which the self-consciousness of a teenager is structured. The need to be convinced of the normality of one's development acquires the strength of a dominant idea. All boys and girls evaluate their own signs of masculinity and femininity. How a teenager develops knowledge about himself, how the experience of his “physical I” in general and sexual in particular is formed, depends on many aspects of his future attitude towards himself, towards people around him of different sexes and, more broadly, towards a feeling of love.

Gender identification in children 3rd course “spec. psychology" Rubinova Maria.

Gender identity is recognized throughout a person's life in the course of the individual's assimilation of the cultural system of society. An understanding of the constitution of one's gender is formed in children by the age of 5-7 years, and in the future it develops and is saturated with content through their own experience. Several factors in family relationships influence a child's gender identity.

1. Parental attitude to the sex of the child This attitude is formed even before the child was born. Parents try to determine his gender, choose a name, create his image and build plans for him. Parental irreconcilability with the sex of the newborn, disappointment, bordering on the rejection of gender, will certainly distort the process of the child's sexual development and affect his sexual behavior.

2. Stereotypes of sexual behavior of parents In their upbringing of a child, parents always rely on the ideas existing in society and behavior typical of the sex. In our culture, a man is assigned activity, achievement orientation, dominance and aggressiveness, poise and restraint. First of all, he is evaluated by social achievements, while a woman should be soft, passive, withdrawn.

3. Formation of a model of sexual behavior The child imitates the parent of the same sex, imitates his behavior. For this, he receives or does not receive positive reinforcement (encouragement, praise, agreement with his actions) or negative (punishment, reproach, threat) from the parents. Reinforcement can be direct or indirect. If a boy hears someone else being called a "coward", "a slob", etc. he will try to behave in such a way that he himself does not become the subject of ridicule. The attitudes and assessments that we give to children, as if by chance, affect the structure of their sexual self-awareness and identity. For example, a phrase like: "You are just like your father (mother) ..." can lead to difficulties in communicating with parents, inadequate self-esteem, stubbornness and repetition of the parent's behavior. "Cry-baby, whiner!" - causes restraint of emotions, internal anger, anxiety, deep experience of even minor problems. "You are an ugly duckling" - dissatisfaction with your appearance, shyness, impaired communication, a sense of defenselessness. Parents also identify more specifically with their child of their gender and want to be a model for him. At the same time, fathers treat girls like little women, and mothers treat boys like little men. In calm, balanced families, where the position of any family member did not become a dictate to others, the child easily and naturally perceives his gender and sexual behavior.

4. Studying and understanding the features of one's body One of the aspects of sexual education of a child is his interest in his own genitals and the problem of onanism that arises in many children in connection with this. The child's interest in his organs is natural and arises naturally, but the parents, without suspecting it, stimulate the child's early unhealthy interest in their genitals (stroke the genitals and observe the child's arousal). Stimulation of increased interest in sex may be the observation of sexual relations of parents. Parents need to cover the intimate parts of the body with the child as soon as he has reached the age of one. Even the smallest children should be protected from scenes of a sexual nature, not only in life, but also on TV. All this can become a source of unhealthy interest, excitement, fear for the child, and also provoke sexual behavior in relationships with other children. Child masturbation is a parenting problem. Firstly, because most adults avoid talking about it and acknowledging the existence of this phenomenon in their child. Masturbation is as old as humanity. The world did not collapse and did not become less humane or beautiful because of this.

The task of parents is to determine whether the child's desire to examine his organs is connected with a disease of the genitourinary or nervous system. This can be done by examining the child with a pediatric urologist, pediatrician, neuropathologist. Do not punish the child for his actions, which will be associated in the mind of the child with shame, prohibition and fear. Sexual experiences will be associated with pain and horror if an adult threatens the child: "cut off the pussy or beat off the hands." On unhealthy emotional soil, sexual disturbances and perversions will grow. Leave everything as it is to nature. Teach your child to know and respect their own body, to follow the rules and regulations for caring for their organs. Keep the child busy with various activities so that he develops not only as a sexual being, but also as a thinking being. A child who is in harmony with all manifestations of his nature grows more resilient and self-confident. A child who grows up in harmony with himself is more likely to resist the temptations of adolescence. Once you cultivate a calm approach to gender issues, it will be easier for you to talk to your child about these topics. And you have to speak!

5. Sexual relations of parents A child's interest in procreation arises at different stages of his growing up. Gradually, the questions of children become more and more detailed, and at the age of 4-5, the child's interest in childbearing acquires a deep character. To the question: "why mom and dad sleep together", it should be answered that parents do everything together: raise a child, manage, sleep. Your wry smile, downcast eyes, inability to find simple and neutral words to answer the child will strengthen children's misunderstanding and insecurity. Information that the child is unable to understand will pop up in his memory more than once, acquire fantastic details, he will conjecture and add what he saw. Therefore, the child should not be a witness to the intimate relationship of the parents. If this happens, calmly ask the child to go out and, returning to him in a calm state, occupy him with his usual affairs, without focusing on what happened.

6. Children's games Often parents are worried about the gender discrepancy in the play behavior of children when boys play with a doll, and girls run around with a gun. Shouts, prohibitions, ridicule are stupid and inappropriate. Children realize their needs in the game, which they cannot realize in real life, and, most often, this game behavior is associated with the child’s desire to explore, to join the unfamiliar. Give them this opportunity and offer situations where the child will have the opportunity to exercise in typical behavior for his gender.

June 15, 2012, Posted by admin

A special place in the formation of personality as a subject of gender is occupied by preschool and primary school age. gender identity and the formation of sex roles in preschool childhood is unusually dynamic. Sex is the first category in which the child is aware of himself as an individual.

In the second year of life, the child already knows whether he is a boy or a girl, although he does not yet name himself and does not distinguish himself from others. By the time the word “I” appears in speech, children know their gender, know some differences and requirements for games, behavioral style. There is an intensive development of sex roles and sexual repertoire through direct instructions from adults and the identification of the physical "I"; the child learns about his body by comparing its device with that of other people. Thus, the basic identity is formed by the age of three as a fairly stable dimension of personality.

Further development takes place at the emotional and personal-cognitive level and is expressed in the formation of personal identity and gender roles, reflecting the system of relations with the environment and people of the same and opposite sex.

A small child does not yet perceive his own and his gender as something that cannot be changed. But by the age of 5-6, the child understands that gender cannot be changed. Since that time, the gender identity of preschoolers has been formed as a unity of experiences and role behavior. With the advent of role-playing games, these processes take on the character of sociosexual games, when children's ideas about their own and the opposite sex are worked out. By the age of 6-7, children begin to show elements of sexual subjectivity: a girl is more likely to say that boys are hooligans, and a boy is more likely to say that girls are whims and crybabies. It should be noted that at this age, as before, rather low awareness of gender differences is manifested in the stories of children: younger preschoolers do not yet know about them, and older ones no longer talk about them with adults.

Gender identity is the unity of behavior and self-awareness of an individual who classifies himself as a certain gender and is guided by the requirements of the corresponding gender role.

The word "gender" was coined to separate the social meanings of "masculinity" and "femininity" from biological sex differences. Gender is determined by anatomical and physiological features that make it possible to divide all people into men and women and classify oneself as one of the groups. Sometimes, with a chromosomal failure or as a result of deviations in the development of the embryo, a person is born who combines the sexual characteristics of both men and women (hermaphrodite). But this happens extremely rarely.

One psychologist jokingly said that gender is what is between the legs, and gender is what is between the ears. If a person's gender is determined at birth, then gender identity is formed in the process of upbringing and socialization. To be a woman or a man in society means not just to have a certain anatomical structure, but also to have appearance, manners, behavior, habits that meet expectations.

There are three levels of phenomena that explain the emergence and transformation of the identity of women and men: biological, psychological and social. The biological level is an individual resource and life potential of a person, starting from cells and ending with the organ system. These are the possibilities of functioning, due to the structural and functional abilities of the body. The psychological level is

In modern social psychology, there is no unified theory of gender socialization, there are several theories, each of which has both strengths and weaknesses.

Supporters of the psychoanalytic theory of identification, which goes back to the views of Z. Freud, believe that the child is unconsciously identified with the image of an adult person of his gender, most often his father or mother, and then copies his behavior.

W. Michel's theory of sexual/gender typing emphasizes the processes of learning and positive and negative reinforcement: since adults encourage boys for masculine behavior and condemn them for feminine behavior, and vice versa with girls, the child first learns to distinguish between polymorphic patterns of behavior , then - to fulfill the corresponding rules and finally integrate this experience in its image "I". The cognitive-genetic theory of L. Kohlberg emphasizes the cognitive side of this process and especially the role of self-consciousness: the child first learns the idea of ​​what it means to be a man or a woman, then categorizes himself as a boy or a girl, after which he tries to adjust his behavior to his own. perceptions of their gender role

Male and female qualities are manifested in the pattern of behavior, in appearance, in the preference for certain hobbies and activities. There are also differences in values. It is believed that women value human relationships, love, family more, while men value social success and independence. However, in real life, the people around us demonstrate a combination of both feminine and masculine personality traits, and the values ​​that are significant to them can vary significantly. In addition, masculine or feminine traits that are clearly manifested in some situations may be invisible in others.

Gender identity occurs as a result of a complex biosocial process. In postnatal ontogenesis, biological factors of sexual differentiation are supplemented by social ones. The genital appearance, determining the obstetric (passport) sex of the newborn, sets the adult a certain program of his upbringing. The child is taught a sexual role in accordance with the cultural traditions of a given society.

This includes the system of stereotypes of masculinity and femininity. The psychological acquisition of gender begins at preschool age, when the child progressively begins to appropriate behavioral forms, interests, values ​​of his gender.

As I.S. Kon, the very first category in which the child comprehends his own "I" is gender. Throughout infancy and early childhood, the main factor in the formation of a child's self-concept remains his communication with an adult, including in relation to awareness of his gender. External signs of the sex of a newborn indicate for adults the “program” of his perception and their relationship to the child (in the spirit of what gender role, male or female, he should be brought up). Traditional associations are associated with gender in people (to a greater or lesser extent, depending on cultural characteristics), which the child gradually learns during his life. Subsequently, the emotional-cognitive awareness of oneself as a person of a certain gender is already conditioned by the norms and customs of the corresponding society and culture.

Primary gender identity, i.e., knowledge of one's gender, is formed in children between the ages of one and a half to three years. During this period, children learn to correctly relate themselves to a certain gender, determine the gender of their peers, and distinguish between men and women. With age, the scope and content of a child's primary gender identity change. Psychological self-determination of gender begins from the second year of life and is fixed by the third year. By the age of 3, the child clearly distinguishes the gender of the people around him, but may not know what the difference between them is. At this age, there is a sex-related conscious preference for toys. On the basis of gender and age, formal and informal children's groups are organized.

The formation of a constant gender identity in a child continues in the interval from 2 to 7 years. This coincides with the rapid increase in sexual differentiation in the activity and attitudes of children: boys and girls, on their own initiative, choose different games and partners in them, they show different interests, and same-sex companies arise. At preschool age, the active assimilation of sex roles by children begins, their awareness of the irreversibility of sex, the adoption of norms of gender-role behavior. In the future, the child will have a true sexual identification as a result of a complex biosocial process that connects ontogeny, sexual socialization and the development of self-awareness. Awareness of one's gender is the most stable, pivotal element of a child's self-awareness.

When parents say to a boy: “Hit back, you’re a boy” or “Don’t cry, you’re not a girl,” parents reproduce gender stereotypes and unwittingly, or even consciously, lay the foundation for the boy’s future aggressive behavior and a sense of superiority over girls. When adults or friends condemn "veal tenderness", they thereby forbid the boy, and then the man, to show attention, care, affection. Phrases like “Don’t get dirty, you’re a girl”, “Don’t fight, only boys fight” form a girl’s sense of superiority over the dirty and fighters, and the call “Be quieter, be more modest, you’re a girl” orients to play secondary roles, yielding palm to men.

Until the age of 9-10, children are especially susceptible to external influences. Close communication with peers of the opposite sex at school and in other activities helps the child learn the behavioral gender stereotypes accepted in society. Role-playing games, which began in kindergarten, become more and more difficult over time. Participation in them is very important for children: they have the opportunity to choose the gender of the character in accordance with their own, learn to match their gender role. Depicting men or women, they first of all reflect the stereotypes of gender behavior accepted in the family and at school, show those qualities that are considered feminine or masculine in their environment.

It is interesting how differently parents and teachers react to the departure from stereotypes. A tomboy girl who loves to play "war" with boys is usually not blamed by both adults and peers. But a boy who plays with dolls is teased, called a “girl” or “sissy”. Obviously, there is a difference in the volume of requirements for the "proper" behavior of boys and girls. It is hard to imagine that any activity that is uncharacteristic for a girl (laser battles, car racing, football) will cause as strong condemnation as, for example, a boy’s love of toy dishes, sewing and clothes (this is well shown in the 2000 film directed by Stephen Daldry "Billy Elliot"). Thus, in modern society there are practically no purely male occupations and hobbies, but there are still typically female ones.

In the prepubertal period (approximately 7 to 12 years), children with a variety of personality traits tend to unite in social groups, while avoiding members of the opposite sex. Research by the Belarusian psychologist Yakov Kolominsky*** showed that if it is necessary to give preference to three classmates, boys choose boys, and girls choose girls. However, our experiment convincingly proved that if children are sure that their choice will remain a secret, then many of them choose persons of the opposite sex ****. This indicates the importance of the gender stereotypes learned by the child: he fears that friendship or even communication with a representative of the opposite sex can make others doubt the correct assimilation of his gender role.

Gender Identity Disorders:

inversion of the gender of upbringing, when the child is guided by the requirements of the corresponding gender role, forming a gender identity in the course of its internalization. This process is completed by 5-6 years. Raising a child up to this age as a representative of the opposite sex is irreversible or difficult to reverse.

family features: physical absence of the father (divorce, drunkenness, spends a lot of time at work); beatings and mockery of a mother or child, especially under the age of 6-7 years, which block identification with the father;

female education - due to the fact that a woman is often the only available standard for gender identification.

The normal gender-role development of children requires the presence of both female and male models. Simultaneous perception of both roles implies their comparison, awareness of not only the opposite of each of them, but also the need for unity.

Signs of violations of gender identity in children include the desire to take on the appearance of the other sex; falling in love with people of the same sex; identification with characters of the opposite sex in the perception of works of literature and art, etc. These manifestations are noticeable in everyday life, which adults need to pay attention to in order to prevent violations in the development of the child's personality.

I.S.Kon wrote that in any human society, boys and girls behave differently. Children of different sexes are expected to behave differently and are treated differently.

The primary sexual socialization of a child begins literally from the moment of birth, when, having determined the anatomical sex of the infant, parents and other adults begin to teach him the sexual role of a boy and a girl.

Primary gender identity, awareness of one's gender is formed in a child by the age of 1.5, constituting the most stable, pivotal element of his self-awareness. With age, the volume and content of this identity change. A two-year-old child knows his gender, but is not yet able to substantiate this attribution. At 3-4 years old, the child already consciously distinguishes the gender of the people around him, but often associates it with random external signs, for example, with clothes, and allows for fundamental reversibility, the possibility of changing sex. At the age of 6-7, the child finally realizes the irreversibility of gender, and this coincides with the rapid increase in sexual differentiation of behavior and attitudes; boys and girls, on their own initiative, choose different games and partners in them, show different interests, styles of behavior, etc.; such spontaneous sexual segregation promotes crystallization and recognition of sexual differences.

Parents treat children of different sexes in such a way that their behavior meets the normative expectations accepted for one or the other sex. It follows from this that boys are encouraged for energy and competitiveness, and girls for obedience and caring, while behavior that does not meet gender-role expectations in both cases entails negative sanctions. Due to innate sex differences, boys and girls stimulate their parents in different ways and thereby achieve different attitudes from them. In addition, due to the same innate differences, the same parental behavior can cause different reactions in boys and girls. Parents base their behavior towards the child on their ideas of what a child of a given gender should be like.

According to E. Maccoby and K. Jacklin, confirmed by subsequent studies, boys, as a rule, are subjected to more intensive sexual socialization than girls. Boys are more pressured not to engage in behavior that is contrary to gender role stereotypes and demands. Feminine roles are less rigidly defined and implemented less consistently than masculine ones. Boys are punished more often and more severely, but they also seem to receive more rewards and autonomy in their development. The simplest explanation for this fact is that boys are naturally more active and restless, attracting the attention of adults.

Boys from early childhood are given more autonomy in terms of extra-family, social activities. In the formation of a male style of life, such an extra-family factor as a group of peers begins to play an important role very early. On the other hand, even at an early age, girls are subject to increased demands in terms of housework, caring for younger children, and so on. As a result, girls have significantly less time for free play than boys. This is clearly related to the differentiation of the goals of socialization: girls are trained to perform household chores, and boys - to non-family, public activities, so they are given greater independence.

The family is the first and closest educator to the child.

The most common features of attitudes are associated with the stereotypes of everyday consciousness. After birth, these stereotypes are actualized: parents see in the child's behavior signs of conformity or inconsistency with what they think a boy or girl should be. Conformity is encouraged, inconsistency is resisted.

In any case, the formation of gender role/identity is influenced by cultural stereotypes of masculinity and femininity. According to these stereotypes, masculinity is associated with activity, strength, confidence, authority, dominance, aggressiveness, intellectuality, and femininity is associated with softness, weakness, passivity, dependence and subordination, conformity, emotionality.

Most psychologists assume that the ability to empathize with a child, the desire to protect him, is characteristic of both women and men. This assumption was confirmed experimentally. The subjects were men and women who were offered to observe a child in a difficult situation (crying from a bruise, confused from surprise). Real situations were used, as well as video recordings, film clips, and drawings. Different methods were used to determine the experiences of the subjects. It was proposed to describe their experiences and evaluate them in points (for example, put yourself 5 for strong feelings, 2 for indifferent attitude). Further measurements were made of those involuntary reactions that accompany emotions (pulse rate, breath holding, hand trembling, sweating). And, finally, the actions and words of the subjects were recorded, in which their empathy was expressed: how they looked at the child, what they said, whether they tried to help. After analyzing the data obtained, the scientists came to the conclusion that women are more sensitive in words than men: the scores they gave themselves turned out to be significantly higher than those of the stronger sex. But measurements of the physiological processes that accompany emotions revealed that the experiences of both men and women are exactly the same. A similar picture was obtained when studying the behavior of the subjects: the strength of empathy for children's problems and the desire to help does not depend on gender. However, when the experiments were carried out in the presence of strangers, the men behaved more restrained than during an individual test, while the woman, on the contrary, increased activity.

So, we can say that the ability to empathize with a child, the desire to protect him is characteristic of both a man and a woman. But it is traditionally believed that rushing to the aid of a child at his first signal, comforting and persuading, etc. - signs of a good mother, so women "splash out" their emotions. And for a man, according to ideas that have developed over the centuries, it is inconvenient to "boil" with feelings about children's crying, fright, confusion.

In the studies of domestic and Western psychologists, a comparative description of children left in an incomplete family is given. I.V. Dubrovina, E.A. Minkova, M.K. Bardyshevskaya and other researchers have shown that the general physical and mental development of children brought up in an incomplete family differs from the development of their peers growing up in complete families. They have a slower pace of mental development, a number of negative features: medium and low levels of intellectual development, poor emotional sphere and imagination, late formation of self-regulation skills and correct behavior.

Children brought up in an incomplete family are characterized by some maladaptation. This is especially pronounced in children from divorced, broken families. The behavior of these children is often characterized by irritability, outbursts of anger, aggression, exaggerated response to events and relationships, resentment, provoking conflicts with peers, inability to communicate with them. For children, the destruction of the illusion of an ideal family is a very painful moment, which is difficult to support with positive life situations. The experience of psychological trauma devalues ​​the efforts of the child: why try to be a good person, go to kindergarten, school, if this does not give security, if no one needs you. And it is very important what will follow this discovery. If a child can get out of the world of illusions into a dangerous, but real world, will overcome the difficulties facing him, believe in himself and his strength, this means that he has matured, become a step higher as a person. If he could not overcome the difficulties facing him, did not overcome the barrier of illusions, then his conviction in the existence of new ones will be strengthened and he will believe in them, remain in the world of illusions and begin to live in an invented world, will remain an infantile personality for a long time.

Preschool children in an incomplete family are characterized by reduced cognitive activity, lack of communication skills, conflicts in relationships with peers.

The role of the family, the mother in the development of the child, his socialization is difficult to overestimate; therefore, the breakup of the family, the death of one of the parents often have a greater negative impact on the child in the first seven years of life. The absence of a single adult who is close and significant to the child, in general, the lack of communication with adults does not contribute to the development of a child's sense of attachment. In later life, this makes it difficult to develop the ability to share their experiences with other people, which is extremely important for the subsequent development of empathy. The development of cognitive activity also slows down, which makes preschool children little interested in the world around them, makes it difficult to find an exciting activity, and makes the child passive. The emotional manifestations of the child's children are poor and inexpressive.

Lack of attention from one of the adults (father or mother) at an early age leads to deficiencies in social development: there is no need to communicate and establish contacts with adults and peers, it is difficult to cooperate with them. This leads to the loss of independence, violations in personal development, gender-role socialization.

An essential aspect of the formation of a personality is awareness of oneself as a representative of a certain gender and mastery of the corresponding gender-role behavior (V.E. Kagan, D.V. Kolosov, I.S. Kon, V.S. Mukhina, T.A. Repina). Scientists call this the formation of psychological sex and note the special role of the family in this process: the child sees an example of the behavior of parents, their relationships, labor cooperation with each other, builds his behavior, imitating them, in accordance with his gender. Thus, for the harmonious development of the personality, it is necessary that the child gain experience in relationships with both parents through adequate models of maternal (female) and paternal (male) behavior.

The shortcomings of the development of the emotional sphere are most clearly manifested. Children have difficulty distinguishing the emotions of an adult, they are poorly differentiated, they have a limited ability to understand another, themselves. This is especially true of the behavior of an adult of the opposite sex, i.e. men or women.

Children from incomplete families often conflict with their peers, cannot interact with them, do not notice their violent emotional reactions. The development of cognitive activity is inhibited in them, which is manifested in a lag in mastering speech, a lack of initiative in understanding the world around them, an ambivalent attitude towards objects (objects attract their attention and at the same time cause a feeling of fear due to the inability to act with them).

A typical lack of development at preschool age in children from single-parent families is violations of independence - from its loss to full manifestation, when the child disposes of himself at his own discretion. The first type is most often manifested in children from an illegitimate maternal single-parent family, where there is hyperprotection of the mother. The second type is in children from broken, orphaned families, where the remaining adult strives not only to raise the child, but also to create decent socio-economic, material living conditions for him.

Children from incomplete families have a disturbed idea of ​​the temporal characteristics of the formation of their personality: they do not know anything about themselves in the past, they do not see their future. Their ideas about their own family are vague. The obscurity of one's own past and the reasons for one's own social orphanhood hinders the formation of self-identity. Some children can't imagine being little, they don't know what little kids do, they can't talk about what they did when they were little. They hardly imagine their future, they are focused only on the near future - going to school, teaching.

The intellectual development of children brought up in an incomplete family is characterized by disharmony, a pronounced unevenness and imbalance in the types of thinking. Objective, visual-figurative thinking remains the main thing. At the same time, verbal thinking can reach age norms, while non-verbal thinking lags far behind, since it is formed in the game, informal communication and unregulated joint activities with adults and other children.

Deviations in mental development in children from an incomplete family have a different type of deviations than in children with mental retardation. A necessary condition for the formation of thinking in preschool age is the richness and diversity of the child's sensory experience. It can be assumed that the paucity, limited sensory experience of children brought up in an incomplete family, adversely affects the formation of their thinking, perception, which is manifested in the primitiveness of visual activity, in the underdevelopment of non-verbal intelligence. Any kind of thinking requires the practice of solving problems, problem situations, etc. for its development. This practice is extremely poor in a child brought up outside the family.

Dissatisfaction with the need to communicate with adults and peers leads to violations in the mastery of gaming activities. The main activities on the street for children from an incomplete family are running around, chasing and teasing or leaving everyone, loneliness, doing nothing.

Thus, preschool children growing up without parents differ from their peers from full-fledged families in reduced cognitive activity, lag in speech development, mental retardation, lack of communication skills and conflicts in relationships with peers. In addition, if there is no man in the family, then this affects the development of both the boy and the girl. A girl may have an unconscious attitude that a father is not needed, and this will affect her family expectations, the formation of ideas about the family as the main value of life. And although the psyche of a girl is more stable than a boy, she also needs a father, especially in adolescence. For a boy who is brought up by one mother, she often becomes a model of male behavior. And she, who alone is responsible for raising a child, really develops masculine traits: determination, composure, authority, a heightened sense of duty, so she dominates the family, subjugates her son or daughter. Add to this the mother's excessive guardianship of the child, which is quite common in incomplete families, manifesting itself in an avalanche of worries, in a cascade of reinsurance measures. The child loses initiative, independence, is afraid to take a step without a mother. The mother's overprotection is especially harmful for the boy, who develops indecision and anxiety.