The candle box is the central place in the temple. Candle stands and boxes Candle box

The first person we meet upon crossing the threshold of the temple is the candle maker, who is also the worker of the candle box. Formally, he sells church goods, accepts memorial notes and keeps a record of the requirements: weddings, funerals, baptisms and others. But in fact, this is a psychologist, and a guide, and a catechist. It is from him, and not from the priest, that many people begin their acquaintance with church life. This person will confidently answer most questions of interest regarding faith, temple or service.

We talked with the candle makers of Moscow parishes and found out how they got into the profession, what its essence is and what they do in their free time from work in the temple and talked about it in our section.

Roman, 48 years old

Candlestick of the Church of the Reverend on Krasnopresnenskaya Embankment

Photo by Vladimir Eshtokin

I became a candle maker very simply: I was offered, but I did not refuse. At that time, I completed my military service, received three higher education in the field of economics and successfully worked as a manager of a car dealership of foreign cars. He also taught several author's courses at the Faculty of Economics of Moscow State University.

My parents baptized me in infancy, since then the temple has become a part of my life. Adults took me there, they also brought up a respectful attitude towards the Church and faith. I began to come to services on my own already at a conscious age - at first I just went along the road, then it began to happen more and more often.

When I regularly went to the temple as an ordinary parishioner, I never thought of working there. One day, our candle maker urgently needed to leave his position, and the priests were looking for a replacement in his place. I didn't need money from them, and they didn't have a budget for this feature, so mutual language we found one quickly and I started working on my only day off. This is very similar to a movie character who worked as a gardener, having a decent fortune.

The position of a candle maker is not a job for me and certainly not a profession. It is rather a service, which consists in helping the people serving in the temple and those who came to it. In general, this can be compared with the activity of a sailor on the upper deck of a small ocean schooner: to help passengers, other sailors and the captain. And at other times to scrub the deck.

Photo by Vladimir Eshtokin

Only a little life experience is enough to work as a candle maker, humility and sense of humour. You also need to be able to sort notes, sweep the floor, do not be shy about taking out the trash.

There is an opinion among the people that only people who have failed in life, who have nothing else to do, work behind a candle box. Therefore, you need to be prepared for a condescending attitude and try to respond kindly.

Once an elderly Mexican couple came here - husband and wife. They were very interested in the history of the temple and asked many questions about faith. We said goodbye to them, and then they come about three hours later and give me a small laminated icon - in their homeland this is a revered Christian image. It turned out that this is the icon of the Mother of God "Addition of the Mind", only they have it in green tones, and we have it in red.

AT free time I grow oaks, apple trees, trees walnut. It fascinated me so much that I had to leave Moscow for the countryside. You understand, the trees on the loggia do not grow as expected. I also respect amateur ballroom dancing, I paint coffee and tea cups. The latter takes a lot of time and effort, but my works are already being asked to be exhibited by museums and private galleries.

Maria, 27 years old

The candlestick of the house church of the saint at Moscow State University. M. V. Lomonosov

Photo by Vladimir Eshtokin

I will not say that in my life there was no faith before, and then once - and it appeared. I was baptized in infancy, after which my grandmother took me to church several times a year. I started going there on my own and consciously at the age of fifteen - at first it was sporadically, then more and more regularly, and after the entrance exams to the university I became a regular parishioner in our church.

So several years passed, then I suddenly found myself without a job. While I was thinking about where to go and what the prospects are, I was invited to work in a candle shop. We needed a person not from outside, but from the parish.

You don't just sit here and sell something there. This is not the job of a salesperson as such. . This is immediately the work of a psychologist, consultant and even a catechist. People come and ask all kinds of, sometimes very strange, wild or very banal questions. For example: “Do you have an icon for everything?”, “And for wealth?”, “How to order a prayer service so that I get approved for a loan?”.

And you are obliged to respond to the extent of your education, adequacy and knowledge of church life. When a question is very complex or a person just needs to be talked to, it is better to send it to a priest if you do not know a definite answer. And this is not so much an area as psychology. People come and talk all their lives, about their troubles, about how something didn’t work out for them, or about family problems.

You have to be patient with people and their weaknesses.. You can’t sit with the air that you know everything better than anyone here, and sheer ignoramuses come to you, you can’t treat them down. We must try to always be friendly and welcoming.

I will not say that the worker of the candle box must have super-deep theological knowledge, but he must know the basis of the dogma firmly. So that he himself does not give rise to even small superstitions in people. Because you have no right to speak any nonsense. Naturally, you need to know very well in order to answer the simplest questions.

Photo by Vladimir Eshtokin

The most difficult thing is interaction with inadequate or simply sick people.. Sometimes you just don't know how to behave. You feel that a person can suddenly become aggressive. When such people come, it is quite a strong nervous tension.

I am inspired by the very opportunity to talk about Christianity. You helped a person to understand something, to part with a small delusion that poisoned his life. I am very pleased when they buy crosses for christening. It's always very nice.

It's great when you have something that a person has been looking for a long time and could not find in other places, but we have it. Most often, this is a rare icon of some saint or a nominal icon.

I think it's something between work and service. You see, to call it service with a capital letter is to elevate yourself unjustifiably. The service is with the priest, indeed, it is many times more difficult for him than for any other person working in the temple.

I can say with confidence that this is definitely not a profession. Of course, this is work, in the most ordinary direct sense of the word - you come at a certain time and fulfill your obligations to sell goods and services, but also service, of course, too. If a person is consciously engaged in this all his life and this is his main occupation, then, probably, one can say so. But this is a rarity. Basically, people combine work in a church shop with other activities.

I do not set myself some great task of Orthodox enlightenment, because thousands of people are already working on it. But there are some trifles and conventions in which I consider it my duty to help understand and explain that God is not in candles and not in notes. It is necessary to slowly move away from this "magical" attitude to simple ritual moments.

A man in his forties periodically comes to us, he looks Japanese. Each time he gives money and a very neatly printed piece of paper in a file on which a magpie is written with photographs of several Japanese and their Orthodox names. Apparently, he was asked, and he regularly comes to do it.

The rest of the time I like to travel around the world and the country, I am seriously fond of cinema and read a lot. I regularly write about all this in my blog for myself and my friends who are interested in my texts.

Olga Valentinovna, 47 years old

“Last night a woman with a child came to the service. She was wearing trousers and no headscarf. One of you remarked to her. She left. I don’t know who reprimanded her, but I order this person to pray for her and this child until the end of his days, so that the Lord saves them. Because because of you, she may never come to the temple again.” Here is a key example for the person behind the candle box.

Love is above all rules, and therefore, even if a person comes and does something wrong , we should not make a remark so that he leaves the temple. My task is to give love, warmth, attention, to show care; meet and either refer to the priest for advice, or recommend the necessary literature. At the same time, you need to understand that I do not have to teach anyone.

More than 10 years ago, a society of Orthodox large families was created at the church, where I participate as one of the organizers. We develop family leisure, discuss problems, help each other. One of our main events is the joint reading of the Akathist to the Mother of God "Education".

A candle box or a candle shop is a piece of church furniture the size of a low stand. On the top of the candle box there are trays for candles of various sizes, as well as a place for writing notes and a donation slot connected to the mug. The mug is under the tabletop behind the lockable doors. The church mug is designed to collect donations. A small number of such items have survived to our time. As a rule, they are in museums. They are included in the catalogs of Russian applied art. All the old candle boxes were made of wood with lots of geometric carvings and forged metal fittings. The need for them remained for use in chapels or small temples. Today, church shops are relevant, into which a candle box has been integrated.

church shop

church shop? this is a whole furniture complex, which is located near the western wall or in a separate room next to the temple. The oldest icon shop that we met was made at the end of the 19th century. It was made of oak in the best traditions of cabinetry. Modern candle shops are reminiscent of good IKEA furniture that ended up in a room not intended for it. Novelty shops are rarely pleasing to the eye, as a rule, they are simple and not beautiful. They do not perform their full functionality, but they are not expensive. However, after a few years cheap candle box will be replaced with a new one. Is it worth it to repeatedly order a cheap church shop? Obviously not.

We designed and executed several vintage items, with a little bit of interpretation in our own way. These items have taken their rightful place. We also developed and executed several of our projects. We have developed and thought out a project, which, we hope, will be made for many temples in different layouts and with minor stylization changes. We will post the drawings on our website. It is a pity that not a single drawing conveys the detailed study and appearance of the final result. However, in a lively conversation, we will try to explain to interested people the basic concept of our project.

There is a candle box (or candle shop) in the Church of the Nativity of Christ. There you can leave a donation for the temple, submit a note of health and repose, and purchase other attributes of church life. The candle box is to the right of the entrance.

When purchasing something in a church shop, a Christian makes his own sacrifice to the temple. Purchasing in a church shop does not mean trading, but donating. The church exists on donations from parishioners. Therefore, the purchase of candles makes sense in the temple itself.

For the convenience of parishioners, the minimum amount of donations is indicated in the church shop. You can donate more if you have such a desire and opportunity. In some cases, the donation can be canceled or reduced (from the specified amount) only by the rector.

In the church shop for a donation you can buy:

• Candles
• Submit church records of remembrance ()
• Icons
• Crosses
• lamp oil
• Orthodox literature
• Church utensils
• prosphora

Eve donation

Donations are not limited to money. On the table to the left of the eve, anyone can leave products for the remembrance of the dead, Cahors (the sample is in the church shop). You can bring any fresh food that a person himself eats, except for meat and meat products. In the future, these products are transferred to the poor and the homeless within the framework, and also end up on the table of church ministers. The tradition of leaving food arose from the custom of organizing the distribution of alms in memory of the deceased.

Working in a church on a candle box is a kind of chosenness, a great proximity to the very essence of church life. So, at least, many parishioners, visitors, and even completely random people in the temple think.

How about really? how ordinary people become temple workers, and what is their work? Nadezhda Keba and Irina Todchuk have been working at the church in Vinnitsa in honor of St. Luke of Crimea for several years...

We, Orthodox Christians, people have many purely secular claims - we are both unrighteous and sad, and we can’t do that, and we have too many holidays, and some kind of constant fasting. This list is certainly commensurate with the number of human passions, but many complaints, unfortunately, are not unfounded.

For example, there is a stereotype that has developed in the world that harsh aunts work in Orthodox churches, who do not allow a non-church person to take a step without a comment, than many people from God dare.

A short sermon by Metropolitan Anthony of Surozh is known, who called on some of his parishioners to pray all their lives for a woman with a child who left the church after they made a remark to her that she was wearing trousers and without a headscarf.

And who among us has not run into especially zealous champions of correct behavior in the temple, has not encountered arrogance and rudeness in the house of God?! Anything can happen, just like everywhere else.

Nevertheless, it is the candle box in each church that becomes a kind of outpost of church life - the questions of those who first come to the church begin with it, and the main information about all its people and events is concentrated here.

Nadezhda Keba and Irina Todchuk work at the church in honor of St. Luke of Crimea in Vinnitsa. This temple began 15 years ago in the corridor of the district hospital, and now its elegant building is located in a forested area, next to the regional oncological dispensary and the central city hospital. And it is understandable that many people go to the church of St. Luke with misfortune and pain, with fear and despair, with hope and "just in case."

"Why go to confession? He is sinless!"

“Almost everyone comes from the hospital to the temple through tears,” says Nadezhda Keba. You start talking, asking questions, trying to help. I explain, show, and on serious issues I send to the priest so that people go to him for confession. Often the relatives of the patient say: “Why go to confession?! He is sinless!" And then they confess, take communion.

Hope Keba

- A person enters the temple, and he is immediately visible. The Orthodox, who is savvy, immediately attaches himself to the icons, takes and sets candles, submits notes, orders requests. And the one who is not only not Orthodox, but maybe crossed the threshold of the temple for the first time, is frightened, got into the wrong environment and does not know where to go and what to do,” says Irina Todchuk. - You go with him and spend a whole tour: you tell which icon is where, that you need to bow, cross yourself and light a candle. And so the whole day. And it feels like you are walking after small children. And these people are just like children, and you cannot be angry with them. A man came to the temple for the first time, and the Providence of God happens through people! And it's not for us to judge. The poor, the sick and the suffering come in. They come in just to light a candle, not knowing why they came. But this is also the Providence of God: they came in, asked something, a conversation began. It turns out that they never went to confession and did not take communion, but we give them a prayer book and tell them how to prepare for confession. And it turns out that this person is eager to confess, but he was simply shy, did not know how to come in and say so.

Irina Todchuk

"Why am I so happy?!"

About their path to God and the opportunity to work in the temple, Nadia and Ira say - God's will.

Both women came to faith as adults, and they know firsthand what the search for truth and the main meaning of life is.

Nadezhda says that in her youth she came with children and to sectarians, but the Lord led her away from the pernicious path. I found the temple of St. Luke of Crimea with my heart right away, when he was still huddled in the corridor of the district hospital - there she married her husband, and began to come to services. She says it was the mother of the deceased who brought her to this church on the fortieth day. But many more years passed before Nadia got the opportunity to work in the temple.

- The church needed a worker, and I came and asked. And before that, I confessed, repented of my sins, and the priest told me: “Nadya, something needs to be changed,” says Nadezhda. – And when a day later the father rector called and told me to come, I immediately quit the cafe and the next day went to work in the temple.

Temple in the name of St. Luke Krymsky

According to Nadia, at that time she knew almost nothing to work in the temple - neither icons, nor much else. Therefore, I taught everything - I took books, I asked everyone I could. She says it was very hard, but she was happy:

“God helped me. People come in and ask questions. And I think to myself: “Lord, help me! God help me!". And once - it comes to mind what to say to this person. Now it’s much easier - of course, I don’t know everything, but I already understand the most necessary and I can explain it myself. And then it was very difficult. But both then and now, when I am left alone in the temple, I look at the icons and think: “Why am I so happy ?!”

Nadezhda says that even after five years of work in the temple, she does not have complete confidence in her knowledge and absolute correctness. She always turns to the Lord for help, for admonition. And she well understands people who cross the threshold of the temple for the first time - their uncertainty, lack of understanding of the elementary and even deliberate aplomb:

– I want to help them, to explain, to serve somehow. And I always ask you to come to the priest to talk, to confession. And a lot of people come here.

"Try to be a mother to everyone - to the little one, the big one, and the old one"

Irina says that the whole family came to the church in honor of St. Luke - both mother and brother, and other relatives:

- There was still a forest here, and we read a prayer service, asked the Lord to give us land for a temple. And as soon as they began to uproot the trees and dig a pit, I already worked at the future temple - we spent the night here and lived.

But, Ira recalls, she did not immediately decide to work in the church - the father rector offered three times, but she hesitated:

- At the plant where I was the controller of the QCD, there was a reduction, and I temporarily went to work at another plant - in the water bottling shop. At first, the work there did not go well, and then it went so well that in one day we earned money like never before. I was delighted, I think that's all - I'm staying. And just thought - she slipped on the wet, fell and severely cut her arms and legs. She left immediately and the next day, after bandaging, with bandaged hands, she came to the construction site of the temple - and stayed. This is how it happened by God's will.

Irina recalls that at first it was difficult for her to cope with many different people. The sick also came, cursing everything and everything - both their illness and life itself. It was then that the rector of the temple advised her: “Irina, try to be a mother to everyone - both small and large, and old. Treat everyone like a mother."

- I read somewhere that the Lord loves every human soul so much that he is ready to give the universe for it. Here is such a strong love that it seems incomprehensible to the mind, - says Irina. - And when a person enters the temple, you need to look not at how he is dressed and what he says, but to see in him the image of God. And what is his state of mind, and what happened to him - this is already the Providence of God and He is leading him. It is not our business to interfere in this, there is a priest for this.

"Trying not to offend anyone"

“The hardest thing is working with people. People react differently, everyone wants attention, as if he is alone. And when there is a long line at the checkout, you talk to one, others are waiting, and you try to please everyone, not offend anyone. But it is very exhausting - there are such difficult days that then you lie down for half a day. I had to ask the priest for another day off,” says Irina. - When a huge number of people pass over a day off or on a big holiday - incredible fatigue is felt. You just stop thinking, but you always try to smile. Especially grannies, because they are real children. It is impossible to refuse them, and they need such an approach, as if every granny is the only person in the world.

“The most difficult thing is communicating with people,” Nadezhda says. - People come different, and you need to find an approach to everyone, not to offend by chance. The task is to explain, to serve, and to show. Sometimes it's hard because people don't understand. But you will explain, and - thank God!

According to Nadezhda, sometimes people come to church and just make a fuss, provoke a conflict:

- Especially in recent times many began to come to argue about politics. But I restrain myself and do not talk about such topics. Sometimes I want to explain something, but I understand that it is pointless.

"You can't live your life for another person"

“And if a person in the church does something wrong, we try to somehow hint, unobtrusively say about it, so as not to hurt or offend,” says Irina. – You can’t live your life for another person, and therefore we can only tell you how to do it – confess, take communion, consult with a priest. They said something, and he kind of caught fire, and then anything can happen - a person makes a choice. The main thing is not to give a lot of information, otherwise he will immediately get closer to the exit.

Often, according to Irina, people come to church with various superstitions. For example, they ask for amulets:

- We explain that the amulet is paganism, we don’t have amulets in the church. We have the most important thing - a cross. Then they ask for incense. And we explain that the icon is good, but the cross is the main thing. And we ask him to buy a cross. If a person resists and does not want to, then it is not time for him yet. The main thing is not to be intrusive.

Irina said that there used to be parishioner grandmothers in the church who liked to suggest where and how to stand, and what to do. The rector of the temple took their initiative under strict control. And if, for example, a woman in trousers or with her head uncovered enters the temple, and one of these grandmothers tries to reprimand her, the grandmother is immediately asked to moderate her ardor - there are temple workers who see everything and know how to react.

“There are always handkerchief skirts in the porch, and we offer to wear them, but we never insist,” says Irina. - With a person, first of all, we talk, and then we already offer, and not so - immediately on the forehead. If it’s not time to talk, we come up with a skirt and a scarf, smile and ask you to put it on. If it is perceived aggressively, we leave the situation as it is. Now the priest, if he sees fit, can react.

"So that a person does not get lost"

It happens, according to Irina, that they come to the temple and people are drunk. They can cry and sob, rush to kiss the icons:

- Usually drunk people who come to the temple want to confess - and, urgently, immediately. We console, and often they begin to tell their lives, and we listen and console again. Drunk people are not confessed, but the priest decides.

There were times when a man who was a little drunk would come and say that if he does not confess now, then he will do something to himself. Then we urgently call the priest, and he is already talking to him.

Irina notes that sober people often come to the temple and cry, tell their misfortune. She and other women on the candle box both listen, and sympathize, and advise, and try to participate in the situation:

- The sick come to the church as if to the last ship, they come in and say: “It’s so quiet and good here that it’s impossible to leave here!”. We hear these words all the time. People rest here. They do not understand what the grace of God is, but they feel it.

Irina says that almost everyone who has been diagnosed with cancer asks why he got sick.

- I always speak to the sick about such words that the Lord speaks to a person first in a whisper of love, but if he does not hear - with the voice of conscience, and only then sends sorrows or illnesses. And they agree, they say yes, "like a worry, then up to God."

Both Irina and Nadezhda admitted how they sometimes feel that they left something unsaid to a person, and this is very important. And then the conscience torments:

– The most important thing in our work is: if a person enters the temple, do not miss him, do not lose him, so that he does not get lost. So that he feels that he has come home - to the Lord. The Lord is waiting for every person, and we are on the sidelines. A person enters the temple and looks in the center, as if into the sky - his soul feels God. And then he spreads his hands and says that he does not know what to do - this is already all human. And we need to support him.

At our parish, complaints began to come in against the candle-makers: they say, rudeness, rudeness, and all that. So I once approached the rector: “Father,” I say, “assign me, so good and wonderful, to be your candle-maker: I will fix everything for you in an instant.”

Or you will correct yourself,” the priest supported. - Forward - to the embrasures! Just don't judge anyone!

No, I'll just teach them how to live.

Oh well. Poor fellow, - this is already a half-whisper, compassionately and in pursuit.

Fiasco first. Discipline

Anyway, the service is over. Prayer services and panikhidas passed, the temple was empty. “But now the hardest part will begin,” the modest girl Natasha repeated three times, helping me deal with candles, prosphora, notes, etc., looking at my stunned physiognomy. “What could be harder,” I thought with the remnants of my brain, “idle conversations during the liturgy and the inability to hear prayers?”

Fiasco second. People

They are known to be different. Most often - good and kind. Most of the time, in your own way. After the service, it was necessary to defend the temple from homeless children who sought to steal money from donation mugs or the mugs themselves. It was also necessary to try to drive away from the church foul-smelling, criminal-looking homeless people who relieved themselves on the walls of the church and used foul language.

They collect alms here, - said the kind-hearted Natasha, - someone will take pity.

So they drink it!

Then an aunt came in in boots and earrings, who urgently needed to “exchange five pieces” (she said so - “pieces”).

Excuse me, - I say, - this is not a bank, and there is no such money.

Is it in your ROC?! Yes, you have no money! You should have everything here for free!

The situation was saved by Natasha; she laid out some papers: “Here are the bills for heating and electricity. Impressive, right? Pay them once a month - and you will definitely receive candles without any fee. Still impressed, you see, the leaves: the lady even apologized. “And I specifically asked to copy the bills,” the wise Natasha explained. “It helps a lot, by the way.”

Then a young man came. I stood at the icon for a long time. He clumsily baptized. Then he went to the box. "Give me a candle, please," he said in a low voice. He took the candle, again approached the icon, set it down, and again stood for a long time. Approached: “I came from the Caucasus. I'm a sniper." And he began to tell - the warrior needed to speak out. I won’t convey the whole conversation, but the words stuck in my memory: “Do you know how you feel when you see through an optical sight how the “spirit” of your soldier cuts, and you can’t get him out of the rifle - too far ..?” He told a lot. Then he again went to the icons (“I know that the Mother of God saved me. And not just me - many”), then he asked for holy water to drink, then he sat on the bench - he was waiting for the priest. Fortunately, the priest came up in time - they went to confession. “More ‘Afghans’ are coming,” Natasha said quietly. - The police, sometimes special forces. Firefighters who rescued children from the fire. Our first-aid kit is always full - you never know what will happen to anyone "...

Fiasco third. Recipes for success and salvation

Who needs to pray for their daughter to go to college? - asked the woman, seriously concerned about the education of her daughter, but, alas, not very versed in Christianity.

How to whom? God! - I answer.

There is only one God, actually, - I say (Natasha turned away and seems to be smiling).

Young man, I ask you specifically: what god should you pray for your daughter to go to college?!

To whom it is funny, to whom - at least cry ...

...“Which is better: a simple or custom-made liturgy? Is the truth more effective than a memorial service? And for what note do they give prosphora? - and so on and so forth. Such questions for all the days while I was a candlemaker, I heard enough. And in no way, well, could not learn to answer them. One of my colleagues, who replaced Natasha, managed to answer in such a way that people chose those donations that were the most.

And what is it for? asked the naive candle-maker.

Most of the people who come here do not need reasoning - most need to "invest" quickly and correctly, you understand?

Go have some tea.

Drinking tea was interrupted by a request to sell twelve identical candles. Well, please - twelve so twelve. I was about to go to the tray with candles, but my colleague suddenly tensed up: “And you, excuse me, why?” she asked the young woman.

My grandmother told me so.

Excuse me, grandmother or grandmother?

Well, grandma, so what? She told me to buy these candles, light them, and then bring them to her - she will remove damage from me.

What are you? It's dangerous. This is indeed !

Whom? Whom is the betrayal?

Yes, Christ.

And the candlestick talked to the young woman for about forty minutes. I did buy the candles though. But she said that she would put them in the temple. God bless!

I have a hundred candles. Fast! - leaving interesting and rare color bill on the counter, through the corner of the upper thick lip squealed a sparkling uncle. - Fast, I said. I pay that money, you understand? Who sanctifies your house here? You all live here on my money, okay?

No, it's not clear. Who are you?

I?! Who?! - it was already impossible to stop the uncle.

If the temple were full, everyone would know who he is, this uncle, “he is like that”, “what can he really decide” and “how good can he do” and how many bells he “should be called from the next world” - so many of them he has already donated. On the other hand, the benefits are considerable: you better understand the bitter irony and pain of Pushkin, who wrote about how humbly and earthly Kirila Petrovich Troekurov bowed while standing at the service, when the deacon at the litany proclaimed "... and about the benefactors of this holy temple." Each time has its own Kirila Petrovich Troekurov ...

Fiasco fourth. Cellulite and bosses

Not only candles need to be sold behind the "box" and memorial notes - you also need to help you choose a good book or something else you need. A terribly intelligent-looking couple came in, asked to pick up something from good children's literature. And I, to my shame, had not yet had time to really get to know her, so I blurted out: “Here, they say, children's poems are good. Take a look - maybe you'll like it? Opened the book and leafed through. We started reading. They turned the page - smile, I look, they stopped. Hands trembled, eyes watered. The lady sat down on a chair, the man approached me and tactfully took me aside. “Excuse me,” he says, “but how can you sell and offer this in a church?” - "What is it?" I ask innocently. He realized that I had made a mistake, and simply began to quote something from a children's Orthodox book. The more he read, the more I wanted to sink into the ground. There was something about a pious church mouse who lived somewhere in the basement, about prosphora fed by a pious watchman, about an impious cat and a pious detective Bobik with a wrinkled, intelligent forehead.

Stop, I say. - I'm sorry, I made a mistake. Didn't mean to offend you.

Yes, it's not about you, - he replies sadly. - It’s just that I just can’t understand: what, there are no good books in Russia? Why does the Church allow Christian children to read this? Do we need Orthodox ignoramuses, tell me?

Not sure. I can offer as compensation Leskov, Pushkin. Don't you want to?

More like I wish! Is there Winnie the Pooh? The real Zakhoderovsky?

Sorry.

It was hard, oh, hard, after such questions (several times people were sincerely surprised at the lack of good children's and adult literature in Orthodox churches). Try it - prove now that we stand for a good education. And by the way, what do we call good if we sell all sorts of godly-snotty masterpieces for kids?

But not only books are of interest to people - icons, rosaries and much more are needed. I don’t even want to talk about the quality of the icons of our “box”. Somehow several Serbs came in - they looked, they were surprised, they turned in their hands: “Are there any real icons, not stamped? Any other production? - “No, brothers. Sorry again." But the brothers began to laugh hysterically when they saw gypsum, porcelain and plastic angels, angels and angels “made in China” standing separately on a shelf: “Look, they yelled, cellulite !!! Catholic cellulite!!!" I approached them to see this happiness from their point of view: hmmm. Look great in Orthodox churches pink angels that can throw staunch Serbs into hysterics, and at the same time completely kill the sense of beauty in their Russian counterparts!

While you will be indignant here and mourn for the loss of a sense of beauty, the temple will become impoverished, - they explained to me. - And there will be more problems with the authorities.

Yes, everything is simple: firstly, people buy what they like. They like your cellulite monsters with wings - please. Do they pay? - They pay. Secondly, none of us like books either, nor this miracle. But the community is forced to buy them: you can’t buy anything else in the diocesan administration! And the community has the right to buy candles, icons and other things only there, in the administration. In other places - no, no. So all your claims about taste, the level of literature, and everything else, send to those who are engaged in the supply of such, excuse me for the expression, "grace." The community will not buy goods in the "uprava" - expect righteous anger and sanctions from the authorities. The salary, already low, will decrease, and the dearly beloved father of the rector will have more difficulties. Go, in short, to the diocesan administration, but don't touch us. Although we understand you and silently support you, of course.”

Fiasco fifth. Fatigue and questions.

Several days in a row for 10-12 hours on my feet, a simple and quick lunch in the church refectory, constant, as I found out, nervous tension, frequent insults and unfair accusations - all this, of course, contributes to humility. Or the appearance of thoughts about its absence. But fatigue, even exhaustion, is not a pleasant thing, believe me. Something even wanted to live. I approached the abbot:

Forgive me, father, the presumptuous fool! Take me away from your box. I couldn't do anything. People just looked.

And How? Are there many good ones?

Most are like that.

Ah, well, then it was not in vain that he was a candle-maker, boy. And, as I understand it, we won't be anymore, right?

Well, go with God.

In general, the priest pulled me out of the box, behind which I spent 40 unhumbled days. Days filled, frankly, not so much with condemnation as with dumbfoundedness and questions that I still have not received answers to. Why, for example, we have been living for more than 20 years without much persecution, but we know practically nothing about Christianity. And, what is scary, we especially do not want to know. Grandmothers with sorcerers, they say, they will tell us everything. Why do we think that God is simply obliged to give us this and that, if we submitted such and such a note or gave so many pieces of bells to “this ROC”. Why is there so depressingly little attention in the Church to the real good books, preferring to scare people with either the end of the world, or to ruin a child's intellect with pious lisping. I already talked about angels. Why do parishes not have the right to buy what they need, and not to take goods of a nightmarish appearance and quality in the "administrations", bought by not very enlightened, apparently, "specialist" people. Why you can not deal with hooligans and thieves. Why not deal with the homeless - whoever wants, let him work, get money, whoever does not want, let him go his own way, but do not urinate on the church. Why do we sacrifice a basic aesthetic sense for money to pay electricity bills, etc.? Why do we come to the temple not at the beginning of the service, but at the end of Communion and chat, chat, chat…

I have a lot of questions, a lot. But there are probably two main ones: what is more effective - magpie or memorial service? And which notes are stronger - "custom" or "simple"?

So I would not condemn the people working behind the church "box". I just happened to be in their place. It's hard for them!