What you need to know in life. What every person needs. Use construction tools
We search the Web for interesting materials and share the best of them with you. One of the users of the popular website Quora asked the question: what should everyone know about life? Former police officer and clergyman Justin Freeman gave an exhaustively specific answer to this not too specific question.
1. Remember - no one cares about you. And if not, you don't have to worry about it. Bought a new car? Nobody cares. Yes, for a couple of weeks you will be asked questions, but not because someone cares about your life, but out of idle curiosity. And in three weeks, for everyone around you, your new car will merge with an endless stream of the same ones - crawling in a traffic jam outside their window. Your new vehicle will excite them no more than you - other people's cars. Bought a new bauble? New closet? Dinner at a fancy restaurant? Are you on vacation in Bali? Nobody cares. Try not to make your happiness depend on the opinions of others, because they do not have opinions. And if it suddenly appears, it will be either envy or hatred.
2. However, some people are an exception. There may be a person in your life who doesn't give a damn. True, he will still be interested in you, and not in your things, but since he will appreciate you, he will become interested in what interests you. And now, when you talk about any nonsense, they will look into your eyes, catch every word, and you will know that you are not alone.
3. Life should be spent with such people. Be friends with them, and marry - also on them. Work with them and relax with them. No matter how much energy you have, you will not turn a person who does not care about you into someone who is interested in you.
4. Money are very cheap. I mean, there are a lot of them - trillions of dollars circulating around the world, and their value is mostly invented by us. Be generous and don't try to subordinate your whole life to the desire to grab a small piece from this huge pile. One of my acquaintances really wanted to save at least 100 thousand dollars - and for this purpose he worked and denied himself in many ways. He eventually saved up the coveted amount, but died of cancer almost immediately afterwards. No doubt his wife's new husband appreciated his efforts.
5. Money are very expensive. Sometimes it is not easy to get the right amount, as well as to predict financial troubles. So be prudent. Try not to take out a loan secured by assets that can become cheaper, and never go into debt to amuse your vanity (see Rule #1). In our time, debt has become the norm, but you should not thoughtlessly take it as an attribute of adulthood - debt usually means an imbalance and, in a sense, a loss of control. Avoiding student debt is difficult, but it's not a given either - my wife and I spent a total of ten years in college, and at the time of graduation we did not owe a cent. If you have to take out a student loan, at least make sure it's an investment and not a net liability. Otherwise, it is impossible to look without tears at people who go into debt for tens of thousands of dollars for the sake of some kind of general humanitarian education simply because they do not know what they want from life. If you don't know what to do, go to Europe for a month - spend less and learn more.
9. We need others at the same time - and we can do without them. Man is a social animal, and no matter what theory of anthropogenesis you believe in, it's hard to deny - "we" is always greater than "I". However, the meaning of life is not to "find your soul mate" - this idea was sold to you by Disney cartoons. All this nonsense about the fact that you just need to believe and never stop searching is just a hoax, at least arithmetically. Build your life, and if you meet a person whom you want to include in it - believe me, you will understand this.
10. Always give more than what is expected of you.
Ecology of life. People: Most of the millennials, that is, the current young and working, believe that they need a career, money and fame to be happy, but not relationships ...
TED-talk presents the results of the world's longest study on happiness.
(with translation, turn on subtitles)
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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXd71u0w04qcwk32c8kY2BA/videos
This research began in 1938 at Harvard. Two groups were selected: one consisted of Harvard students (boys), the second - from the boys of the poorest families in Boston, most of whom did not have running water at home. In total, about 800 people participated in the study.
Throughout their lives, every two years, the boys, and then the men, were examined by doctors and psychologists, they were given IQ tests, interviewed them and their loved ones, took their blood and scanned their brains. In fact, initially it was not a study of happiness, but of health. The researchers wanted to find out what protects against heart disease, life expectancy, and so on.
And here is the summary of 75 years of this incredibly massive correlation study:
(drumroll)
health and happiness are reliably associated most strongly (uncompeted) with only one thing, and that is
(drumroll)
Good relationship. That's it.
Three main lessons:
LESSON 1
Loneliness kills. Lonely people get sick more, are less happy, and die earlier. Their brains work worse, cognitive functions decline earlier.
Close relationships protect against all this.
LESSON 2
The most interesting thing is not the quantity of social connections, but their quality. You can be lonely in a crowd, you can be lonely in a marriage. Bad relationships, such as a conflicted marriage, take a heavy toll on health and, of course, happiness. At the same time, trusting and close relationships in marriage have the opposite effect.
LESSON 3
Last but not least, good relationships protect not only the body, but also the psyche. At 80, memory is significantly better for people who have a partner they can rely on. This sense of “can be relied upon” is key. Such couples can have long squabbles and often have conflicts (in fact, conflicts are necessary for a good relationship), the main thing is a feeling of unconditional trust and security.
WHAT'S SAD
It's sad that a gigantic percentage of people feel very lonely - about 20% of Americans. It would be interesting to know the data we have.
It is also sad that most of the millennials, that is, the current young and working (the majority of those reading these lines) believe that they need a career, money and fame, but not a relationship, to be happy.
So did the participants in the study. But they were wrong. And now we are wrong.
You can study the whole history of the creator of any game, you can find out in detail what the first chess was made of. It just won't help you win. Like this, some people spend all their time and resources to learn everything about the game called "Life" and its creator, forgetting about the game itself. However, the essence of the game is in its ending! This book is only for those who are tired of playing and want to win. Eleven chapters contain everything you need to do this.
* * *
The following excerpt from the book EVERYTHING you need to know about life (Dmitry Mikhailov) provided by our book partner - the company LitRes.
Introduction
Don't claim
Do not deny
Stop.
Think for a second. Why did you pick up this book? Did someone give it to you? I?
But why did she fall into the hands of you?
For myself, I have developed several rules for reading books, watching movies, in a word, getting new information.
The first is to test in practice, discuss, reason, and not take on faith everything that is written, no matter how authoritative the author or text has. After all, the higher the level of the text, the more difficult it is to perceive. Try giving a student a textbook on physical field theory, theoretical mechanics, or higher mathematics. It is foolish to rely only on your perception. After all, while reading, you can simply misunderstand what is written, and then start broadcasting it as the truth, misleading other people. And then as in the experiment with monkeys.
Cell. It has 5 monkeys. A bunch of bananas is tied to the ceiling. Below them is a staircase. Hungry, one of the monkeys approached the stairs with the obvious intention of getting a banana. As soon as she touches the stairs, the faucet opens and ALL the monkeys are doused with very cold water.
A little time passes, and another monkey tries to eat a banana. Same ice water. The third monkey, stupefied with hunger, tries to get a banana, but the others grab it, not wanting a cold shower.
Now take one monkey out of the cage and replace it with a new monkey. She immediately, noticing the bananas, tries to get them. To her horror, she sees the angry faces of the other monkeys attacking her. After the third attempt, she realized that she would not be able to get a banana.
Now remove one more of the original five monkeys from the cage and put in a new one. As soon as she tried to get a banana, all the monkeys attacked her in unison, and the one that was replaced first (and even with enthusiasm).
And so, gradually replacing all the monkeys, you will come to a situation where there are 5 monkeys in the cage, which were not watered at all, but which will not allow anyone to get a banana.
I expect the same from you, dear reader. Do not take on faith what is written here, check, think over, because the purpose of this book is to start thinking, to direct.
The second is not to deny, not to hide from what is written, no matter how nonsense it may seem at first glance. By denying, you can miss the really worthwhile things. Remember that we once denied the ideas of Galileo Galilei, Copernicus, Kepler, Vesalius and other experimenters, and today they have become the foundation of science. These ideas can change your life. Most of the writers I know put their heart and soul into every line. Everything written is read a hundred times by himself and by people from his close circle. And if the author wrote something, then he has a reason for it. If you come across a controversial statement in the text, think about why the author wrote it, what he provokes you to.
There is so much I want to describe in this book, about everything, about karma, about yoga, about religion, I want to present all my spiritual experience, to put all the accumulated goodness into every line. That's just not necessary, this book, like all the others, is just food for thought, entertainment, an occasion to reflect and discuss. - this is not a path to enlightenment, this is wandering in the labyrinths of the mind, bright, magical, but this is just a labyrinth. Only by calming your mind, only by finding the source of your self, only by dissolving your ego, will you become enlightened, the rest is just rattles. Only by putting into practice everything written, one can approach enlightenment.
In this book, the reader will find many questions, try to give each a minute, as if a long-awaited guest in your mind.
Enjoy reading!
Middle-aged people are sensitive to global problems. They often think about the future of their children, the increased price of gasoline and the lack of legal action. After all, 40 years is the time when men and women become aware of the presence of chronic diseases.
In fact, not everything is so hopeless, and the midlife crisis can be overcome with minimal losses. Here are 40 life reminders that will help you succeed.
You can choose your worries
Life presents you with so many worries that you can choose the most important ones. You can get rid of stress if you prioritize correctly. Don't think about the end of the world and nuclear war, just help the kids do their homework.
You live in a unique era
Some things may seem bleak, but you live in an age of scientific and technological progress and important discoveries. Also remember that you have been given the opportunity to exist in the most peaceful time in human history.
Fake news can be real
A black stripe is always followed by a white stripe
Even the most bad event cannot last forever. When you feel like the whole world is conspiring against you, no one can take away your right to happiness. Always tell yourself that behind the black line there is always a white line.
You can still change
At 40, it may seem like you have nothing more to strive for. However, there will always be a new goal, if there is a desire. You can always find new hobbies, new friends and new opportunities.
Let go of old grudges
There is too much stress around you, so do not create problems from scratch. Release old grudges by lightening your heart.
Lack of haters means no success
Elbert Hubbart wrote: "The way to avoid criticism is to say nothing, do nothing, and be empty." Therefore, all your ill-wishers are part of life.
Don't Forget About Breathing Practice
If you can counteract stress with deep breathing, you can avoid many health problems and improve your sleep. Relaxation in the form of yoga or mini-meditation will help normalize blood pressure.
Don't complain about your age
At 40, you can feel how life is rapidly passing you by. You can suddenly get sick, get new wrinkles and gain excess weight. However, those around them admiringly accept those who age beautifully, and do not complain about fate.
Relationship Priorities
It's easy to get caught up in career goals or all-consuming virtual communication. Remember that there are people around you who are waiting for your attention.
Put spirituality above material values
New things come and go, but there are truly priceless riches. Whenever you have a choice between material wealth and spiritual development, choose the latter.
Smile
The facial expression of a person has the ability not only to reflect the mood, but also to influence others. Smiling can be contagious.
Age is just a number on a passport
When you were 20 years old, 40 year old people looked like ancient dinosaurs to you. Now you understand how wrong these judgments were.
Strive for Simplification
If life is full of difficulties and obligations, it is not satisfying. Therefore, strive for simplification, refuse annoying friends, and also delegate authority. Children can clean the house, and you will go in for sports at this time.
Physical activity
Exercise is the cure for all diseases. Even if sport has never been a part of your life, make it a priority now.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day
A good balanced breakfast will boost your metabolism and keep you from overeating later in the day. Vitamins and minerals will boost your performance and healthy fats reduce blood cholesterol levels.
Think before you get angry
When you can control your emotions, you can hold on to the threads of control of your own life.
Punctuality is a virtue
Your conscientiousness cannot go unnoticed by other people. If you are respectful of other people's time and show up to appointments and gatherings on time, you earn bonus points towards your reputation.
Don't Forget Patience
Give yourself a chance to make a mistake. Any brilliant ideas, as a rule, are the result of a long series of failures.
Be patient with others
Let other people make mistakes. High expectations lead to disappointment.
Rekindle old hobbies
When you were younger, you enjoyed playing basketball or snowboarding. Now daily worries push favorite hobbies into the background. But who said you can't pick up the ball again and head to the backyard basketball court?
Social media will not replace real life
Therefore, do not waste precious minutes on likes and reposts.
Focus on the important things
Work is not the only thing that can bring satisfaction.
Learn to enjoy the little things
The past is irretrievably gone, and tomorrow may never come. Keep this in mind every time things take you into their endless maelstrom. Stop for a moment and feel happy as you watch the sunset.
Friendship grows stronger over time
40-year-olds are busy working and taking care of children and elderly parents. In order not to lose old friends, you need to shift the focus on the quality of meetings, and not on their quantity.
Think first, then speak
An offensive word, especially if it is thrown in the hearts, leaves a deep wound on the heart of another person. Always think before you say something.
It's never too late to learn
Smart people prefer to study all their lives. Therefore, strive to update your skills and improve your skills.
Make the most of your senses
On your way to work, look for things that have changed since yesterday, or spot different smells. This will help keep the brain active.
Clothing according to age
Having reached the fifth decade, many of us are desperately trying to look younger by wearing ripped jeans and T-shirts. But if you dress according to your status and age, you will look irresistible.
Become your own worst critic
40 years is the age when someone else's opinion ceases to excite you.
Be the person the world needs
If the world lacks activists or fighters for the rights of the disadvantaged, fill this niche.
Allow yourself the right to be wrong
Wasting precious energy on self-flagellation is inappropriate. People make mistakes, and mistakes are part of personal growth.
Stand up for your rights
Instead of leaving angry comments under posts in social networks stand up for your rights under the law.
Clothing is part of your success
People around you form an opinion about you based on how you look.
Cheering for your success is not forbidden
Not everyone around will wish you success. Do not look for fans on the side, become your own fan.
Little things add up to big things
Accept routine things as an important component of global success.
Not everything that you dreamed about in 20 years will come true
If you do not have a six-figure salary and have not purchased a country mansion, this does not detract from your merits as a person.
It's time to think about the future
Think about how to properly invest your savings to ensure a comfortable old age.
Don't despair if you're broke
If you are in financial trouble, don't despair. There is still time for everyone to find a new source of income.
Think about your heritage
In fact, you are at the equator of your life path. Think about the things you will leave behind for posterity.
Incredible Facts
Self-confidence is a vital key to a healthy and productive life.
To be self-confident, you need to master the basic set of skills, to be a jack of all trades.
Contrary to what you may have been taught in school, the jack-of-all-trades is much more prepared to face the real life challenges than the highly specialized person.
This list is not exhaustive, however, the following 47 things everyone should be able to do.
life skills
1. Make a fire.
Fire is warmth and light, one of the basic human needs for life. At some point, this knowledge may save you.
2. Work with a computer.
Fundamental knowledge of the computer is simply necessary in our time. Please help your neighbor if necessary.
3. Know how to use Google.
This search engine knows everything. If you have a problem finding something using Google, then the problem is not in him, but in you.
4. Be able to do artificial respiration and the Heimlich maneuver.
Perhaps someday your child, wife, husband, or friend will need emergency help and you will miss precious seconds.
The Heimlich maneuver is a way to remove foreign bodies from the upper respiratory tract, especially effective when they are completely blocked.
5. Be able to drive a car with a manual transmission.
There will come a time when the lack of this skill will play a cruel joke on you.
6. Know the basics of cooking.
If you can’t cook a steak or scrambled eggs with your own hands, then rather learn how to do it, sooner or later, the lack of this skill will make itself felt.
7. Be able to speak in such a way as to attract people's attention.
8. Do not get into a fistfight if you are not sure of your victory, not only physical.
9. Know how to bring bad news.
Someone has to do it. Unfortunately, someday, at least once in your life, you will be that person.
10. Know how to change tires on a car.
11. Know how to behave with dignity in an interview.
Nervousness and sweat in three streams will definitely not bring you a good job.
Life Skills
12. Know how to manage your time.
Otherwise, you're wasting it. Sometimes it's good, but not permanently.
13. Learn to speed read.
Sometimes you need to urgently understand the main essence of the material, and you needed it five minutes ago.
14. Remember people's names.
It is unlikely that you will like it if, after you have introduced yourself, after some time they will turn to you: "Hey you!"
15. Change your living space.
Even though it is a little more difficult than you might think, it is extremely beneficial for mental health.
16. Travel light.
Take only the essentials with you. It's both cheaper and easier.
17. Behave within the limits of the criminal code, because prison is not fun at all.
18. Learn to give the right directions.
Nobody likes to run in circles.
19. Be able to provide first aid.
You don't have to be a doctor or a genius to treat a wound.
20. Learn to swim.
71 percent of the Earth's surface is covered in water, so being able to swim isn't a bad idea.
21. Learn to parallel park.
Despite the fact that parallel parking is a required skill for obtaining a driver's license, many drivers have no idea how to do it.
22. Know your alcohol limit.
Otherwise, your life will end like this person's.
Vital Skills
23. Choose quality food.
Spoiled fruits and vegetables can tempt you with a low price, and in the end play a cruel joke on your health.
24. Know how to handle a hammer, an ax and a hacksaw.
Carpenters aren't the only people who need these tools. Every person should have a basic knowledge of basic hand tools.
25. Keep your budget.
Being in debt is not fun. Controlling your expenses is key.
26. Speak at least two common languages.
Approximately 300 million people in the world speak Russian (less than 5 percent), English is spoken by 25 percent of the population. It would be nice to be able to find mutual language with English speakers and with the remaining 70 percent.
27. Push up and squat properly.
The wrong technique for performing these basic exercises will not only bring you nothing useful, but will also make your body hurt, and you will waste time.
28. Know how to compliment.
This is one of the biggest gifts you can give a person. And it's free.
29. Know how to negotiate.
30. Listen carefully to others.
The more you listen and the less you talk, the more you learn and the less you miss.
Vital Skills and Abilities
31. Know the basics of geography.
If you don't know anything about what is outside of your comfort zone, most people will assume that you don't know anything at all.
32. Learn to paint.
The cost of painting a room is 90 percent of the labor force. It makes no sense to overpay for something that you can do yourself.
33. Learn to give short, informative public speaking.
At the next meeting, when your boss asks you to share what you've been working on over the past month, keep it short, clear, and informative.
34. Learn to smile when you are photographed or filmed.
People who don't do this are associated with dull creatures.
35. Know how to flirt properly.
There is a fine line between successful flirting and complete failure. If you try too hard, you will lose. If you don't try too hard, you will be the loser.
36. Learn to extract useful and relevant information.
Useless notes are useless, and their absence dooms you to failure.
37. Be hospitable.
Otherwise, every time in a new place you will stay in hotels.
38. Learn how to make a good first impression.
Aristotle once said: "The one who started is already half done."
39. Know how to manage a map and compass.
What happens if the GPS suddenly stops working and you find yourself in the middle of nowhere?
40. Learn to sew on a button on a shirt.
It's cheaper than buying a new one.
41. Learn to type fast.
This skill will save you a total of several days over your lifetime.
42. Always protect personal information.
Identity theft can cost you dearly. Don't be careless.
43. Learn the basics of computer security.
You don't need to be a programmer to understand the basics of creating complex passwords and using firewalls. This will surely save you a lot of trouble one day.
44. Learn to recognize lies.
People will lie to you. This is a sad truth.
45. Know how to politely end dates without making any promises.
There are no excuses for promises you don't intend to keep. Just as there is no reason to make decisions on the fly about a person you barely know.
46. Learn how to remove stubborn stains from clothes.
It's cheaper than buying a new one.
47. Keep the house clean.
Order in the house is organization in life.
