Coming out - what does it mean. What does the word mean What does the word coming out mean
What is Coming out
Coming out ( coming out) - this is a term that is applied to the process of understanding, accepting and evaluating a person's own sexual orientation and identity. In the future, this process implies a public recognition of oneself as a person with a non-traditional sexual orientation. AT English language, the expression "Coming out" is, which can literally be translated as: "exit", "disclosure" or "recognition".
What is COUMING OUT - what does it mean in simple words, in an understandable language.
In simple words, coming out is a situation, or rather a process, in which a person realizes that he is indeed gay ( bisexual, lesbian, etc.) and openly declares this to the public. In other words, we can say that coming out is a public act of recognition that a person is a representative of a non-traditional sexual orientation.
The word coming out in our reality.
In the post-Soviet space, this term is not used so often, since such acts of recognition are not something ordinary and normal in the understanding of our society. Despite the fact that, according to various estimates of scientists, the percentage of homosexuals in the world constantly fluctuates in the range from 3 to 10 percent ( that is, they have always been and always will be), the issue of homophobia in many countries is very acute. Given the above, we can conclude that "Coming outs" in the modern realities of the post-Soviet space are very rare cases. Moreover, given the prevailing perception of society, such confessions bring absolutely no advantages to representatives of the LGBT community. Thus, the very term "Coming out" in our media space can be heard in relation to various Western celebrities who have decided to confess their non-traditional orientation.
Why Coming Out is an important, rational and logically necessary stage in the life of homosexuals.
If we discard all prejudices, stereotypes, and looking at homosexuals from an objective point of view, it is obvious that these are exactly the same people, albeit with different sexual preferences. Just like heterosexuals, they want to have a certain degree of freedom and recognition. By performing the act of "revealing" by publicly announcing the peculiarities of their nature, they can no longer hide, but be themselves. Such openness allows them to live in harmony with their own self, and feel complete. Of course, not everything goes smoothly. Quite often after coming out, people have to deal with social reactions and negative attitude to members of the LGBT community. However, many homosexuals ( especially in more liberal countries) are willing to fight prejudice and endure certain inconveniences in order to live the life they want. After all, life in a lie is not life at all.
Remark for inveterate homophobes:
Gentlemen, think about it... Coming outs have advantages for you too. Since you can never eradicate homosexuals by virtue of the very nature of man. It is a fact. In any case, you will always know who is who. And only the degree of your development and culture will determine what kind of relationship to build with this or that person.
The main stages in the process of coming out.
- Confusion. The person begins to wonder if he can be a homosexual. The analysis of feelings and emotions begins. There is a feeling of denial and confusion;
- Assumption. The person admits that he may be a homosexual and begins to face the problem of social isolation inherent in the new identity;
- to your own identity. On the this stage a person learns to endure and get along with his identity. Confusion and anxiety about one's own sexual orientation is reduced, but a sense of isolation and alienation from the rest of society is growing;
- Recognition of one's own identity. The person is fully aware that he is a homosexual and accepts himself as he is;
- Contacts with the LGBT community and attitudes towards heterosexuals. This stage includes a sense of community with other LGBT people. There is even some pride. In turn, contacts with representatives of traditional sexual orientation are reduced. Quite often there is a feeling of anger at heterosexuals.
- Harmonious self-acceptance and integration into the world. During this stage, a person aligns their sexual identity with other aspects of life. Sexual preferences no longer seem to be the dominant component, but are only part of the individuality. LGBT pride and anger towards heterosexuals is on the decline. A person begins to live a familiar life, clearly distinguishing between his personal preferences and life in society.
The phrase coming out for the inhabitants of Russia is still new and unusual. But in the circles of Western stars it has become quite popular. Today, on the Internet, you can easily find out what it means to “come out” in simple words.
Where did the expression come from
Coming out - a situation in which a person admits to homosexuality (love for a representative of his gender).
The name of this phenomenon comes from the phrase coming out of the shadows. The literal translation is "get out of the shadows."
The expression appeared in the United States in the middle of the 20th century. American psychotherapist Evelyn Hooker added the expression coming out to the list of official scientific terms.
Coming out is the most popular topic for research papers in psychology and sexology.
Recently, the expression "coming out" has been used not only in relation to non-traditionally oriented people, but also to any person who has publicly declared his unusual personal views, preferences or habits.
The loudest coming-outs in history
More recently, coming out of popular personalities was a rather rare occurrence, but now it is quite natural.
Ian McKellen participated in the boycott over the fact that so far no openly homosexual person has won an Oscar
The actor made his coming out one of the first, back in 1988. During a conversation at the radio station, Ian stated that he was gay. This loud statement was made in response to a government decree to ban the promotion of homosexuality. Since that moment, Ian McKellen has been an ardent defender of the rights of representatives of sexual minorities.
Cynthia Nixon's own daughter is also an extraordinary person, she recently changed her gender and turned from Samantha into Samuel
Actress Cynthia Nixon is best known for her role as Miranda Hobbs in Sex in big city". The celebrity has long cohabited with teacher and researcher Danny Moses. For 15 years life together the couple had two children. However, in December 2004, the popular actress openly admitted that she prefers women. Her soulmate was Christine Marinoni. 7 years after they met, she gave birth to a son, whom she is raising with Kristen to this day.
Michelle Rodriguez and Cara Delevingne have an impressive age difference of 14 years
The actress starred in the films "Night Gardens", "Battle in Seattle" and "Resident Evil". In October 2013, Michelle told in an interview with a representative of a well-known video blog that she was dating model and actress Cara Delevingne. The news received wide publicity and made a splash on the Internet.
After this high-profile statement, the actress posed for a spread of a magazine for the LGBT community.
Kevin Spacey never agreed with Anthony Rapp's accusations
More recently, under the influence of circumstances, an American actor, film director and screenwriter Kevin Spacey was forced to confess his love for the same sex. His colleague Anthony Rapp gave an interview and talked about how Spacey tried to seduce him as a child. As a result, the actor was charged with pedophilia and harassment. Kevin apologized, but denied nothing. The actor admitted that in his life there were connections with representatives of both sexes. Now he openly declares his unconventional orientation.
Recognition influenced the career of a celebrity. Because of the charges, he lost the American television Emmy Award, and the Netflix film company stopped filming the new season of the series about an ambitious congressman, in which Spacey played the main character.
Kristen Stewart also dated French singer Soko
The star of the Twilight film series after filming began dating her colleague on the set, Robert Pattinson. All the fans of the couple were delighted. However, after a high-profile breakup in 2013, Kristen first began dating director Rupert Sanders, and then with her former assistant Alisha Kargile. The paparazzi tried with might and main to catch the star couple together, and they did not even think of hiding. The actress herself did not comment on this situation in any way and in one of the interviews she stated that she was a defender of the rights of the LGBT community. Kristen's official coming out took place only in 2016. Relatives and friends support the actress, and her mother even met with her new beloved daughter.
On the this moment Kristen Stewart is dating Stella Maxwell, a New Zealand top model and Victoria's Secret Angel. Love for women did not affect the career of the actress in any way, she still acts in films, participates in fashion shows and even became the face of the Gabrielle Chanel women's fragrance.
Jim Parsons and Todd Spivak officially married after 14 years of relationship
Jim Parsons is an actor who played the brilliant but very eccentric physicist Sheldon Cooper in the television series Theory big bang". In 2012, the artist openly stated that he had been dating producer and graphic designer Todd Spivak for more than 10 years. In 2017, the couple officially registered their relationship.
One Byron claims that his co-star Ivan Okhlobystin is a real homophobe and has repeatedly made harsh jokes about the young actor
The 30-year-old actor, who played in the Russian TV series Interns, only recently made a shocking statement about his sexual orientation.
“I have always been honest. They ask me the question: “How do you like girls from Russia?” - I say that they are all beautiful. When they ask if I have a loved one, I honestly answer no, ”says the actor.
The confession of Odin Byron had no effect on his life in Russia. He starred in the final season of the series about doctors, and now works at the Gogol Center, a theater created by Kirill Serebrennikov.
The life of the stars is constantly monitored by paparazzi and their every step is recorded on camera. Therefore, the details of their personal lives often become known to ordinary people and contribute to a voluntary coming out. Love for representatives of the same sex of some celebrities was completely revealed against their will.
Coming out (literally translated from English “coming out” - “exit”, “disclosure”) - voluntary recognition of a person in his belonging to a gender or social minority. Most often, this word implies the recognition of a person to the LGBT community.
An important feature of the coming out is that it is mandatory voluntary act- accidental disclosure of information about a person's orientation by other people (for example, journalists) or confession under duress (for example, during a trial) are not considered coming out.
Although anyone can come out, regardless of social status or degree of fame in society, most often the press discusses the loudest examples coming-outs associated with frank confessions of famous athletes, politicians or show business stars.
Famous examples of coming out
David Bowie
Famous in the 70s - 80s of the XX century rock musician, producer and actor considered one of the first celebrities to come out.
Back in 1972 he openly declared his bisexuality in an interview. At the same time, rumors about the unconventional orientation of the rock star existed before: in particular, the yellow press made fun of his decision to marry with the words of the musician himself: “we met my wife when we slept with one guy.”
However, for those times, an open confession of an unconventional orientation sounded very bold, especially since in several subsequent interviews, Bowie repeatedly confirmed what was said. Many years later, Bowie admitted that his coming out was a rash act, if not at all " major mistake"because it caused a lot of negative reviews in his address.
Elton John
Probably a vivid example of how a perfect coming out can change the idea of a person. After the confession of bisexuality made in 1976, a flurry of criticism from supporters of traditional relations fell upon the young musician.
Trying to return the image of a "normal" person, Elton had to marry Renate Blauel. However, this not only did not help to get rid of the attacks of homophobes, but also turned into a protracted depression, alcoholism and even drug addiction.
As a result, Elton decided not to hide anymore and in 1993 formed a partnership with his companion David Furnish, with whom he lives to this day. And in 2014, the couple officially became married - Elton and David got married and even got married.
Ian McKellen
The British actor is best known for his role Gandalf in The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit.
However, in addition to roles in Hollywood masterpieces, Ian - active participant in the LGBT movement. Back in 1988, he openly declared his homosexuality live on the BBC. Since then, he not only does not hide his orientation, but also actively advocates for the rights of sexual and gender minorities.
Craig Parker
Another hero of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, who played the role of Haldir. The New Zealand actor in 2008 gave an interview to one of the American newspapers that he was gay. After that, the actor organized charity evenings in support of LGBT organizations, donated part of the royalties to the fight against gay AIDS, and also publicly invited governments to lift bans on same-sex marriage.
By the way, Craig became famous in Russia also because he appealed to our government with a request to repeal the law prohibiting the promotion of same-sex relationships and repeatedly signed the corresponding letters.
Wentworth Miller
Wentworth Earl Miller - main character series "Escape" who played Michael Scofield in it. Even during the filming of the first seasons of the series, journalists bothered Wentworth with questions about his personal life, but then Miller hid his orientation, saying that he did not want to get married because of "too busy schedule."
However, already in 2013, he came out in a rather defiant manner. Wentworth refused to come to the St. Petersburg Film Festival, because "he does not want to go to a country where people like him cannot openly show their feelings." By the way, Wentworth admitted that in his youth he even thought about suicide because of the fear that others might find out about his sexual orientation.
Jim Parsons
Lead actor of the series "The Big Bang Theory"- gay. True, he admitted this relatively recently - in 2012 in an interview with the New York Times. At that time, Jim had been in a same-sex relationship for more than a decade, but he was afraid to voice it, for fear of damaging his acting career.
In addition, both James and his partner are believers who profess Judaism, and such a revelation could cause condemnation from their religious community. But still, in 2017, the actor's dream came true - James officially married to his partner producer Todd Spivak.
Not every person will dare to loudly and publicly declare their non-traditional sexual orientation. The story of Kevin Spacey's coming out received a great response even in the United States, where homosexuality has long been perceived adequately. In Kazakhstan, one of large networks cinemas used this story to advertise by offering an annual subscription to Kazakhstani actors who dare to follow Spacey's example and come out. True, so far no one has confessed. And the actors can be understood: coming out is a serious and important step for an LGBT representative ..
No. 1. What is a coming out?
Coming out (coming out . - English)literally means "disclosure", "exit". This expression goes back to the phrase "Coming out of the closet", that is, "get out of the closet". From the same metaphorical closet in which LGBT people often sit, fearing public opinion.
The birth of coming out as a phenomenon is associated with the activities of fighters for the rights of sexual minorities in the middle of the 19th century and the beginning and middle of the 20th.
The idea of coming out goes back to the work of Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, a German lawyer, journalist and mastermind behind the LGBT rights movement. At one time, Ulrichs was dismissed from the district court in Hildesheim because of his homosexuality.
He wrote a series of books " An exploration of the riddle of love between men", in which he proposed a somewhat naive, romantic theory about "Uranus", people who are neither men nor women, but some kind of third gender. Ulrichs considered the love between them to be more sublime than the usual connection between a man and a woman Despite the fact that in his work Ulrichs mixed the concepts of gender identity and homosexuality, LGBT people appreciate his contribution to the development of the idea of coming out.The scientific term coming out was made by the North American psychologist Evelyn Hooker, who studied the problems of sexual minorities.
October 11th is considered the official coming-out day. On this day in 1987, 500,000 demonstrators marched through the streets of Washington in support of the rights of LGBT people.
Of course, coming out is usually associated with the LGBT community. But sometimes this concept is used in other contexts. For example, "alcoholic coming out", "atheist coming out" and even "vampire coming out".
No. 2. The loudest coming-outs
Not only Kevin Spacey, but many other celebrities and even politicians have publicly acknowledged their LGBT affiliation. In 1988, British actor Ian McKellen (many know him as Gandolph from The Lord of the Rings) admitted to his homosexuality on a radio station. In 2016, Twilight star Kristen Stewart came out as bisexual.
In 2014, Apple CEO Tim Cook wrote in his Bloomberg Businessweek op-ed: "While I have never denied being gay, I have never publicly acknowledged it until now. So let me be clear: I am proud to be gay and I consider homosexuality one of the greatest gifts God has given me."
Coming outs in different years performed by actress Judy Foster, singer Elton John and even the famous Angela Davis. On November 6, 2014, the Minister of Foreign Affairs of Latvia, Edgars Rinkevics, wrote on his Twitter: "Proud to be gay".
Number 3. What is the meaning of coming out?
Coming out opponents or homophobic people usually say something like: "Do it quietly in the basement, why announce your preferences to everyone." Why is it so important for representatives of the LGBT movement to come out of the shadows? Human rights activists say that coming out is necessary for a gay, lesbian, bisexual or person with a non-traditional gender identity to declare himself.
Visibility is a step towards legitimacy and acceptance. Thus, the revealed one emphasizes that he is a full-fledged representative of society, and draws attention to the problems of people with the same orientation as his. When someone famous declares his belonging to the LGBT community, this has a particularly strong effect. Although in this case we can not exclude the element of PR and attracting attention.
LGBT-friendly psychologists emphasize the importance of coming out to fight stigma. This allows the one who comes out of the shadows to get rid of frustration, constant tension due to the need to hide. Also, coming out allows a person to feel more comfortable and accept himself as he is.
No. 4. Outing or forced coming out
Outing is when information about a person's sexual orientation becomes public against their will. That is, someone intentionally informs the environment of an LGBT representative about his orientation. This can be done to discredit a person if they are in a homophobic environment. Outing can also be unintentional, for example, someone close to him saw the corresponding entries in a person’s personal diary or an unclosed messenger.
No. 5. How to properly come out
Before coming out, make sure that you are sure that it is really necessary at this stage of your life. Do not forget about personal safety and weigh how it can change your life. Remember the importance of coming out, because you are doing it primarily for yourself, plus expressing your civic position.
If you are going to come out in the family, for example, in front of your parents, then take into account their attitude towards the topic of homosexuality. If it is negative, then you should not declare your orientation suddenly and abruptly. In order to smoothly move on to this topic, it may be necessary to first prepare the context and try changing the negative settings. loved one. Let the parent read non-fiction literature about homosexuality or gender identity, watch a film on this topic together. The one who is about to get out of the “closet” himself will also not hurt to familiarize himself with the special literature in order to be able to answer questions if they arise.
Of course, the reaction of loved ones can be unpredictable, so if you are, for example, a minor, it is better to think in advance about where you can go to spend the night at the very poor development events.
If you intend to come out in front of colleagues, then also weigh the pros and cons. It may be worth starting with a limited circle of people with whom you have a good relationship, rather than making an announcement over the speakerphone.
It is recommended to refrain from coming out at work if it could pose a serious risk to you, such as the prospect of losing your job, or if it could have a serious impact on your professional life.
Coming out should be done in a sober memory and sound mind, remaining cool and firm, ready for any reaction to your statement.
No. 6. Criticism of coming out
The idea of coming out is usually criticized by homophobic communities and anti-gay activists. For example, the Christian organization Exodus International, which even established the "National Day Out of Homosexuality" in defiance of the "National Coming Out Day". The organization ceased operations in 2013. And her former leader made a formal apology to the representatives of the LGBT community, admitting that it is impossible to change sexual orientation.
The feminist community has an ambiguous attitude towards coming out. In particular, the queer feminist Judith Butler, in her article "Imitation and Gender Insubordination", argues that the very gesture of revealing a secret is, as it were, a recognition of one's otherness and exclusion from society. Thus, coming out, according to Butler, seems to support the fact that we live in a society where only heterosexual relationships are normal.
No. 7. Coming out symbolism
American artist Keith Haring created the official Coming Out emblem. This is a picture of a door and a man coming out of it. The unspoken anthem of the coming-out is the Diana Ross song "I'm coming out".
The star of the series "Star Trek" (Star Trek) Anthony Rapp said that once Spacey tried to seduce him and persuaded him to act of a sexual nature: Anthony at that time was only 14 years old, Kevin - 26. Spacey immediately responded to the accusations: he publicly apologized to the actor, although he stated that he did not remember such a case (but he fully admits that this could happen), and also admitted that he had affairs with both women and men in his life, but now he chooses the path of an open gay. This recognition did not surprise the public much - rumors about the actor's homosexuality circulated throughout his career. However, Spacey was censured and ostracized: he is trying to divert attention from accusations of pedophilia with his coming out.
It is not yet known how the incident will affect Kevin's career in the future, but his already prestigious Emmy Award, and the American company Netflix, which produces the series (House of Cards), where Spacey plays leading role, announced that the series was for one more season. After and filming the current season.
In light of recent events, the editors of the site decided to recall other stars who came out and tell how it affected their careers.
Made her coming out in 2010, declaring that she was bisexual. However, the courage and honesty of the actress were not appreciated: after her frank confession, Hurd almost lost her career. Studio executives, agents and consultants were against the girl openly talking about her preferences, but Amber could not help it:
I wanted to be honest with myself and others, even though everyone said confession would ruin my career,
— said the actress. This could not destroy her career, but, as Amber later recalled, the label “lesbian” stuck to her, which, of course, was reflected in the number of roles offered.
In 2008, Amber met with the artist and photographer Tasya van Ree, with whom she even registered a relationship. Then the girl turned her attention to men: first she married actor Johnny Depp, and then with billionaire Elon Musk. High-profile novels helped the actress become a world star, and the coming out did not affect this.
When George Michael was 29 years old, he told his parents about his homosexuality. His mother was always afraid that her son would become the same as her late brother, who preferred men and whose fate was tragic: unable to withstand the condemnation of society, he committed suicide. Subsequently, Michael dedicated the song My Mother Has A Brother to his uncle.
My mother thought she was supposedly carrying the bad gene, so she let my father be homophobic,
George said.
The reason for coming out for Michael was the death of his lover, Anselmo Feleppa, in 1993.
When I was little, a gay waiter lived next to us, and I was forbidden to be near him. Allegedly, I could "pick up" something from him. My father was a Greek Cypriot. He had radical views, and he never came to terms with the fact that his son was gay, and his mother was always afraid of him. At the same time, when I opened up to them by writing a four-page letter, my mother said that this was the most touching thing she had read in her life,
- the singer admitted in one of his interviews.
Officially, George Michael admitted his sexual orientation in one of his interviews in 1998, after he was caught in a public toilet "in obscene acts" and demanded an explanation.
After that, the singer's popularity declined for some time. His CDs began to sell less, and the fans began to turn away from him. This led the artist to a creative crisis and prolonged depression, as well as to the use of drugs. Subsequently, popularity returned to the singer, but condemnation and sidelong glances due to sexual scandals haunted George Michael all his life.
The star of the vampire saga "Twilight" (Twilight) in general, never her orientation and has always been an ardent defender of the rights of the LGBT community. True, for the time being, no one suspected that Kristen prefers women, because at first she met with a colleague in the "Twilight" saga for four years.
However, when this relationship ended (it didn’t work out), Kristen found in the person of her former assistant Alicia Kargile. The paparazzi now and then caught the girls together, and they did not hide from reporters at all. Publicly, the actress did not comment on this novel, rightly believing that everything is clear to everyone. It wasn't until 2016 that Stewart decided to make a statement that could be considered her.
When I dated guys, I always tried to hide what I was doing. It seemed to me that everything personal immediately became some kind of banality, and I did not like it. We were turning into stupid comic book characters and I was like, "You're making my relationship look like it's not and I don't like it," But that all changed when I started dating girls. I thought that if I was hiding, it would mean that I do not welcome such relationships or are ashamed of them, so I needed to change my behavior in public. It has made my life more open and I am much happier.
Stuart admitted.
Close actresses supported her. Mom, for example, even with her girlfriend:
She is my daughter and knows that I will accept whatever choice she makes. I dated her girlfriend, she's quite nice. Why should I be against it?
After Alicia, with whom the actress then converged, then parted for two years, Stewart had a short affair with French singer Soko and Cara Delevingne's lover Annie Clark.
Zachary later admitted that he was oppressed by the need to hide his true nature. He wanted to come out much earlier, but only dared after the tragic story of a gay teenager who committed suicide due to bullying at school. His revelation did not prevent him from continuing to act in the movie "Star Trek", in which the actor played the role of the cult character of the series - Spock.
Lord Ivar Mountbatten became the first member royal family, who publicly admitted to his unconventional sexual orientation. In 2011, the cousin of Queen Elizabeth II divorced his wife Penny, and in September 2016 issued an official statement in which he said that since 2015 he had been dating the director of an aviation cleaning company, James Coyle. The reason for Mountbatten's coming out was the unwillingness to hide his relationship from the public.
I struggled with my orientation, and in a sense I continue to do so to this day. It took a long time for me to admit it
said Lord Mountbatten.
By the way, ex-wife Ivara, from whom he has three daughters, always knew about the preferences of the ex-spouse and never tried to interfere with this. For example, now she goes to yoga with his boyfriend.
Of course, not all celebrities who came out were as lucky as some of the heroes of our list - many, after frank stories about their personal lives, began a long streak of career failures. No wonder that many celebrities still prefer to hide their gay orientation, afraid to put an end to their careers. But times are changing, and if even Kevin Spacey came out of the closet (although not very successfully), then maybe we should expect other high-profile confessions soon? ..
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