A woman is much older than a man cases from life. A girl is older than a guy: how to build relationships. Marriage has its reasons

Five years ago, I was a fun-loving gouge with one low-paying job and a dozen ruinous hobbies. I had a girlfriend, or rather, three girls. Of course, there was only one at a time. I'm ashamed to admit, but I chose them as things - according to the weather. One for a fun sunny picnic, another for rainy autumn melancholy, and a third. The third is when you need to have lunch with someone on a hot working afternoon.

Sunstroke

I could imagine a lot. My luxurious three-level apartment (which I still don't have). And Mexico, where I will definitely take part in a costumed ritual depicting Aztec ritual sacrifices. I could even admit that I would be tired of merry chasing up the career ladder, and I would enlist in the French Foreign Legion - to drive terrorists across Africa. But what happened, I not only did not plan, I could not even imagine. I live with a woman who is ten years older than me. And I'm learning to build relationships with a difference of 10 years.
It was a low blow. And higher. Sunstroke right on the head, as in Bunin's story. And even a powerful hydraulic shock - from the inside, in the heart. It's hard to explain. Imagine that you constantly see some unfamiliar and at the same time painfully familiar person in your muddy morning dreams. And suddenly you meet this very person in reality - a real, laughing one. It was a miracle in its purest form.
She didn't charm me, she didn't seduce me. I just took it. She liked to repeat this joke: “I don’t need someone else’s, but I’ll take my own, no matter who it is.” So she took me, as something definitely her own. Next to her was interesting, exciting, strange and at the same time calm, comfortable. She was very different from all the girls with whom I then spoke - my peers and those who are even younger ... She did not lie, did not portray, did not play any fictional roles, she just lived. And she did it beautifully, with some kind of royal dignity and at the same time with bewitching simplicity. This, apparently, is what is called experience. Sooner or later, it appears in everyone, even in the most stylish and inadequate young girls. When they grow up, they, too, will probably become queens ... Although I do not rule out that others will remain juvenile fools until old age.

languid sighs

Sex is better than with her, I have never had with anyone. And it's not about some kind of acrobatics or that she allowed what others usually do not allow (by the way, she did, yes). Please don't take offense, but sex with girls in their twenties and under is unbearably boring. Now that there is something to compare with, I would say that this is not sex at all. Young beauties are senselessly trying to conform to some crazy template, formed by incomprehensible films and existing only in their heads. Passionately and falsely, they make a languid sigh strictly once every five minutes. Certain poses are refused on principle: it looks, you know, it's somehow not right. And how should it look? And anyway, who is looking at them at this moment ?!
Whether it's an older woman who understands exactly what she wants! And able to explain it to you without any embarrassment and false modesty. We had only one problem in bed - I could not restrain myself for a long time. Especially the first two times. It's kind of stabilized now. Tuned into each other. And every time happiness breaks out of me, I scream like crazy, not thinking at all that someone will misunderstand me. And at this moment, you know, I don’t care to such an extent that for 10 years!

A girl is 10 years older than a guy: psychology

A couple of times in my life I didn't care. Somehow friends invited me to a muddy charity-concert-entertainment party. We came together. Everyone drank quietly. At first, acquaintances and unfamiliar people approached me, saying: “You are such a nice couple.” Then the girls began to somehow unpleasantly wink and grin. And then one frame came up to us and gave something like “Is it true that older women think about sex all the time?”
He then for the "elderly aunts" received from me specifically. After that, while washing my shirt, slightly stained with blood from a broken lip, in the toilet, she laughed and said: “We will assume that it was you who proposed to me today.” She kissed me on my broken lip - it was painful and sweet.
The second time I cared was when we met her mother. A wild initiative on the part of the girl, of course. But what can you do for your beloved. At first everything looked decent - cake, flowers, hello-thank you-please. And then her mother dragged her to talk in the next room. From there it rushed “are you crazy” and “he’s just a child” - exactly at such a volume level that I heard, but the neighbors did not hear. And then my girlfriend jumped out - red, in tears. And then it was like an electric shock hit me - she was so defenseless, so plaintive, that it suddenly became clear right away: she really was a little girl. And I, although younger than her, actually older and stronger. I said only one phrase to her mother: “And we will live with me.” At that time - a blatant lie: there was still no "I have." But a year later she appeared, because she is a little girl, and I am a strong man. Yes, and in the most intimate and affectionate moments, you know what she calls me? Daddy. And believe me, I'm proud of it.

Relationships 10 years apart

Well, yes, we have a ten-year age difference. Everyone around me is used to it. In fact, everyone cares, but we are good together. It turned out that the common interests of the sea. With domestic and economic troubles, we figured out surprisingly quickly. True, she is not friendly with technology. But it looks so cute when she enters into a battle not for life, but for death with another iPhone or netbook ... If it gets really tight, a real Batman always flies to the rescue and a handsome man of all trades. I enjoy being Batman. We look like peers. She is engaged in swimming, yoga and some kind of “bioenergetic self-regulation”. I don’t know which of these is more useful, but everything that is supposed to be elastic, she has elastic.
The funniest thing is to remember what event prompted me to decide, so to speak, to legitimize the relationship. For the first few years, the thought of marriage simply did not cross my mind. And the beloved woman did not express any concern about this. On the contrary, she said: “I’m still young, I want to take a walk, until I’m ready for serious decisions.” She was joking. Or not joking? But one day a guy I know very well, three years younger than me, started courting her. And I was seriously afraid that I would lose her. Probably, she deliberately arranged this so that I could see how he hands her some kind of skinny bouquet in the entrance to make me jealous. And I, of course, became jealous ... She is cunning, of course, she calculated everything in advance. For this, a special thank you from me.
She categorically refused a magnificent wedding - we fled from everyone on a tour of the Mediterranean. At twenty, no girl would do that. But what about dresses, dances, ransoms, bridesmaids and other rubbish? And at thirty-something a wedding without a carbon monoxide wedding is reasonable and ... I like it. We've been together for five years. Married for a little over a year.
Our future? Don't know. I only know that it is definitely there. And age ... What is age? When she falls asleep on my shoulder, she sometimes catches my shoulder with her lips in her sleep. And as long as she does this, no matter how old we are, she will be younger than me.

Great Husbands Who Were Younger Than Their Wives

Salvador Dali was 10 years younger than his wife and muse Gala. The fact that he is 10 years younger did not prevent the eccentric couple from maintaining mutual attraction for the rest of their lives. When Gala died, Dali stopped creating and spent the last seven years of his life in woeful loneliness.

Sergei Yesenin and Isadora Duncan were separated by 17 years. This strange passionate romance was subsequently overgrown with rumors and legends.

Milena Marich, Einstein's first wife, was five years older than him. When they met, he was 17 and she was 22. Many scientists believe that without her, the theory of relativity would not have taken place. The second wife of the genius was only three years older than him, and she already had two children from a previous marriage.

Honore de Balzac called his first and most important love of the writer Laura de Verney, married older woman him for 22 years. She became not only a mistress, but also a friend and adviser of the writer, inspiring Balzac to literary work.

Diane de Poitiers, mistress of King Henry II of France, was 20 years older than him. Henry tremblingly loved her all his life, until his death in a jousting tournament, and considered Diana his muse and best friend.

Photo: Dmitriy Shironosov/Rusmediabank.ru

The history of unequal marriage is so deeply rooted that it is hard to imagine a time when it did not exist. By and large, any marriage is unequal, because a man and a woman are different sizes. Opposites. But when the age gap is added to this natural factor of difference, inequality becomes simply screaming.

We are already accustomed to unequal marriages in which the man is older than the woman. They even became a kind of rule and the key to a successful misalliance. However, the trends of recent decades are such that marriages are increasingly common in which a woman acts as a senior partner.

He helps her feel the fullness of life. Prolongs youth. Stimulates to constant search and development.
She can sculpt from a young man, as from a piece of virgin material, her ideal man.
She gets the opportunity to satisfy her eternal feminine instinct of motherhood, care and participation, which makes her happy.
A young man has the necessary for her and the opportunities that distinguish him from a man of the same age.

An unequal marriage in which a younger man has the same chance of becoming happy as any other marriage if it is based on love and human affection. Unfortunately, our society is arranged in such a way that it perceives any deviations from the norm invented by someone almost as a sentence. But each of us has the right to live not as public opinion dictates, but as his heart tells him.

In the last few decades, many families have appeared where a woman is five to ten years older than her husband. Previously, it was not so much prohibited as not accepted. Today there are more civil, trial, marriages, which are often short-lived, seem just a school of building relationships. If a woman is older than a man, we read in our article ...

Nuances

Whatever the marriage age combinations, there are certain nuances of the psychology of building marital relations. Not only the age of the spouses is important here, but also psychological features each, their personal value system. Experts are convinced that it is not necessary to tie relationships only to age. The age gap matters only when it is so large that the woman and the man belong to different generations.

In couples with an age difference of twenty years or more, one partner usually plays the role of a mentor, the other the role of a student. If these roles are really suitable for both spouses, there can be happiness in this marriage. Here, both partners can try to realize their subconscious desires: one obeys, the other leads. If one of the parties (for example, a student) does not feel comfortable, then the risk of developing dissonance in such a couple is high. Moreover, in everything: in everyday situations, in the intimate sphere, in everyday communication. Such spouses have a different perception of life, they have different horizons, life experience, emotional mood, intelligence.

Optimal

From the point of view of doctors, the optimal age difference is no more than five to ten years. Such partners have sexual compatibility and another important aspect - at least ten years in order to conceive healthy offspring.

Choosing a couple

In big cities, half of the marriages break up every year. To prevent this from happening, pay attention not to the age of the partner, but to his personal qualities. It is easier to get along with characters with an average level of nervous excitability, with an average development of the psyche, average activity and duration of sensations.

Similar flaws in the psyche or character complicate compatibility, since they seem to be summed up, reinforcing each other; but similar advantages add up too, making life easier as a couple.

The psychological laws of complementing a partner testify to the benefits of the union of opposite characters: in a spouse you can find what you yourself lack.

During the romantic dates of the bride and groom, it is important to try to get to know each other:

• how he (she) treats money, how he plans to spend it;
• how it relates to children;
• what are his (her) spiritual values;
• how he imagines the good life;
• how it relates to parents;
• what is the role of women and men in the family;
• plans for the future: dreams, profession, career, lifestyle;
• favorite dishes, way and place of rest, household habits;
• what should be the ideal husband (wife).

In fact, age is a very arbitrary concept. A woman is able to remain a woman until her physical death. For a sixty-year-old woman, good sex with her beloved man is not a hindrance, this relationship will only prolong her youth and beauty. But in fairness, one cannot fail to recall the results of a study by British psychologists. For many years they have observed the relationship of those couples when the wife is older than the husband. The picture turned out to be the following: women in such a marriage pass away much earlier than those who live in a traditional family. This is due to the fact that the psyche of a woman is negatively affected by public opinion and she suffers from unflattering reviews of others about their couple.

Good day, dear readers. Today we will talk about situations where a woman is older than a man. You will find out if such relationships are normal. You will know if such a couple has a future.

False stereotypes

Opinions are formed in society about a couple of different ages in which the woman is older. They can be easily refuted.

1. “A young man will eventually get tired of his old woman and go to a young beauty.” In fact, if the couple breaks up, then this is not dictated by the age difference. Do not forget that peers also diverge for many reasons.
2. "To turn on a young man is the prerogative of a woman." In fact, it is the young guys who are the first to take the initiative, and try to woo an older woman. Even in kindergarten, boys fall in love with teachers, at school - with teachers, at the university - with teachers. And if a guy grew up with a domineering mother, then he especially needs a mature woman.
3. “These relationships have no future, they are fleeting.” This opinion is erroneous, because on average they live together for at least 13 years. And some of these couples are together to the last.

The advantages and disadvantages of such a relationship

Today, more and more often you can hear the phrase "a girl older than me." AT modern society people are much easier to relate to couples in which a man is 5 or even 20 years younger than his partner. Now people are no longer with such disapproval of such a union as before.

Let's look at the benefits of such a relationship.

1. A woman who has a much younger man next to her has an incentive to always look great. She begins to take care of herself, visits gym, uses quality cosmetics, sometimes resorts to plastic surgery. In such situations, she often manages to look no worse than her partner's peers.
2. An adult and wise woman is able to adjust her man for herself. A young, inexperienced guy who did not know life easily agrees to her demands.
3. A fulfilling sex life. As peers know mature women no longer feel the need for regular sex, while the representatives of the female half of humanity experience an increased need.

Now let's look at the disadvantages.

1. Condemnation of others. It seems like all people have long resigned themselves to the possibility of creating a family by such couples, however, deep down they will still experience discomfort when they see a man walking next to a woman who is 10 years older than him. No one will deliberately condemn aloud or express their opinion. However, the appearance of a colleague to an employee who has a young lover is not excluded. Friends can envy young guy the fact that he had an adult patroness. It is also possible that people will discuss how a neighbor was abandoned by a young man for a young girl. There may also be individuals who decide to tell you straight to your face that you do not look good with your partner. Look like an aunt with a nephew, at best, like an older sister. Sometimes such conversations make you think and cause a feeling of discomfort, embarrassment. A couple may begin to hide their relationship, live in constant fear of being judged. However, you should not listen to someone else's opinion, you need to have your head on your shoulders, behave as your heart and mind tell you. If you really love, what difference does it make, who is old.
2. A woman who connects her life with a man who is a year or more younger than her runs the risk of becoming jealous of young girls or the man's peers if the age difference is significant. In such a situation, it is better to be that young lady herself next to an older man. You don't have to keep breaking your heart. You must understand that if a man is nearby, it means that he chose you, which means that he is not interested in other, young, sometimes brainless girls. Perhaps it was your maturity and wisdom that attracted him. If you are sure that a man is there only because of money, then jealousy may have a reason.
3. A guy may begin to reproach his woman for being unable to bear him a child. This can be both an impossibility for health reasons, and the presence of children with his partner. In such a situation, it is important for a woman to understand what is dearer to her. If she really loves and is able to give birth, then she should take this step. And if for some reason you cannot become a mother, you can always turn to a surrogate mother.
4. Money question. If a woman is 7 years older or more, may have financial independence, has already taken place as a person, while her chosen one is just starting his career, relationship difficulties may begin.

My husband is 1 year younger than me. I used to think that for happy relationship it is necessary that the man be older than the woman, at least by three years. And now I know for sure that it’s not about age, but about what kind of person is next to you, how mature and responsible he is. And most importantly - what feelings do you have for each other.

1. Do not pay attention to public opinion. No need to worry about whether it is normal when a man's beloved is younger than his woman. Do not think about how relatives and relatives will react. The main thing is that you love and love you too.
2. No need to be jealous of your young man. Jealousy is a feeling that gives rise to self-doubt. Realize that it was you who became his choice, increase your self-esteem.
3. Such relationships are beneficial to both parties, because a woman has a richer life experience, and a man has a greater supply of vital energy. By combining their efforts, they can achieve a lot in life.
4. A woman should not treat her husband like a child, showing excessive care, depriving a man of independence. The exception is cases with .
5. Leave the pangs of conscience. You don't do anything terrible.
6. The current relationship can give you something that was not found in previous meetings with peers.
7. Do not be afraid to build joint plans for the future, dream about children.
8. Build a serious relationship if you are completely sure of the sincerity of your partner's feelings. You should refer to the statistics and find out that about 53% of unions in which a guy and a girl of the same age break up in just three years. While couples in which the woman is older do not part for at least 12 years.

My father married a second time to a woman who is 8 years older than him. Their marriage can be called happy. Their union has existed for 23 years.

Now you know, if a girl is older than a guy, this does not mean that such relationships can be put an end to, and they have no future. Quite the opposite. In addition, do not forget about the category of men who are looking for women older than them, looking for those who resemble their mother. Such alliances are especially strong.